tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27189887909934124762024-03-05T05:22:58.336-08:00Adventures of an AUTYnary MumAUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-47816418223826126112015-04-17T11:40:00.000-07:002015-04-17T11:40:50.489-07:00Back On The Frontline<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We're back.......... "Run for the Hills" I hear some of
you shout!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've re-started this blog over a million
times, and with every stroke of the keyboard keys just wasn't happy.
Where have we been? Not far, just my priorities changed. For
those parents who are familiar with transitions will appreciate the saying
"when the going gets tough<gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="8b099a50-55c7-46c1-91a7-0d713c039986" id="ffac597a-fe73-40dc-beea-b05ad71a5821">, on
goes the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="8b099a50-55c7-46c1-91a7-0d713c039986" id="efb16122-263b-4d54-916f-bb07665d10dc"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="1c5acbb4-f7bc-4e38-82f8-a434b7d23214" id="4215a191-f0c3-4de2-b049-7c0504a5eb80"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a6a13c99-ef52-472f-a487-650bd8bd0f11" id="e1fcfd2c-909a-4827-8d03-6802957a3568">armour</gs></gs></gs>".<o:p></o:p></gs></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Life was not being kind to our 'Bob'.
Exam year, revision, future decisions, and more decisions = Stress,
anxiety, low mood, and lack of self-esteem and confidence. We needed time
out to concentrate on his issues and clear our minds to be able to deal with
the decision making placed upon him by the transfer process from his Statement
of Education to the new Education, Health and Care Plan. What a shambles!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hang on a minute whilst I drag my soap box
out from under the stairs. Now I've been involved at a strategic level
locally, wearing<gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="1add3f27-827a-46df-a526-5b6a16b72680" id="d722e0fa-1db5-47f1-bb83-88ea503eb3e7"> my
professional cap for a couple of years.<span class="apple-converted-space"></span></gs> Even
having this knowledge did not prepare us for the increased stress and anxiety
on our household. Where was the impact study on decision making process for
young people? Where was the consideration for those young people 16+ who
were deemed able to make their own decisions yet<gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="2b53c7a4-1e64-471b-a3b6-5b2e2405cc46" id="fa5a27a1-1cdc-4c8c-b44a-78e924d25354"> are known to struggle with communication?</gs> Where was the discussion
around and the plans for those young people who may be affected by mental
health issues? I
believe in the principal of the changes, but boy, you can tell that political
timetables were running the show. These changes are the most significant
in over 30 years, surely someone would have<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="645169b3-7111-455d-b79e-a97b949d6ffa" id="00953cc3-e63c-45f0-8ac3-a84cad258a62"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="da559e14-a4fc-4098-9099-be49f8655a9f" id="7ddb5c5d-dc44-4541-9ef1-786bc8f27c8f"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f8269492-06b2-4ca6-95e2-3b87d2a3d9b7" id="3878cffb-65db-4b2e-947f-0864267b69e8">realised</gs></gs></gs> that
perhaps squeezing it all through at the same time might be a tad bit
optimistic, and not without its prisoners. My son is not being one of
those prisoners, I will NOT let this happen. So many parent<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f80a87f8-24a9-435e-90e8-79c47764dd83" id="f01ac0da-38d9-405e-b579-26de90657a16"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="6ff5da8f-58b3-42aa-8a49-209a191f3ed5" id="0e7461c5-1cfc-45e2-a677-d7650c6e1388"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ff4499df-4a4d-43b6-ac6d-44353a87e9fb" id="34a8c8ff-2f09-4ba8-98d8-53a5c9a47509">carers</gs></gs></gs> have
dusted off the shiny outerwear and got out the Brasso, for something we were
reassured would not be another battle. However, this is what it has
turned into! All this gives new meaning to the lyrics "Walk a mile
in my shoes...." Well in this case OUR shoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We can all look back in hindsight and make
judgement. The preparations for this have been ongoing for over four
years, surely these questions were asked and discussed over a couple of
glasses of Pinot Grigio in the Parliamentary Members' Dining Room!
Personally, I am, and I'm sure I'm not the only parent<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c46e04a4-a315-4124-912a-6f7c0085171c" id="33f6b5ab-7491-4bf2-a999-500f547f1221"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="7e870fee-6063-4952-bd3f-c0bc388b46a6" id="9dc05a9c-8095-4295-ac30-eefbc2aedeb1">carer</gs></gs><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>out there, exasperated by it all,
drained of every ounce of unused energy. Not that there was much left.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We as a family have had to change
direction, change strategies, aspirations and goals. Have you noticed the
elephant in the room......? CHANGE!
It doesn't take a genius only someone who is prepared to put in the time
to find out what affects young people with Asperger’s or high functioning
autism. No need to move the earth, sun or moon here. So much for the
process to be person<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="2bb32bf2-594f-4001-8313-2a4027625e21" id="74b5f9a1-c46f-4dff-9bd4-47553c7f4415"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="700c9abc-9412-4a08-be70-982f3f2ae725" id="20ed592e-54b4-4aed-b53e-32e7b2462da6">centred</gs></gs>,
stumbling your way through it just makes a mockery of the whole ethos! <gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="89c6579a-1b25-4fa1-99cc-329863adb18f" id="7848d59d-37e2-4e7a-8c08-ccc0e031c335"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="902565b3-26c6-4f39-b4b5-d89157be1ee4" id="86609612-b0d6-4aa0-b260-e29e14285c88">Soap box put</gs></gs> back in <gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="89c6579a-1b25-4fa1-99cc-329863adb18f" id="e77b50eb-d57e-46e5-b391-5257d5e53282">its</gs> place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So as I'm typing this our bleary eyed
'Bob' demands clean clothes, but not any old clean clothes, pyjamas!
Pyjamas, it's three in the afternoon and he has only just got up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Joggers?" I ask<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"No!" proceeded with what seemed to be a 2,000 word
verbal essay on why we can't possibly where these particular joggers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"No<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>PJ’s I'm
afraid. Tough<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="395bfcda-d193-4440-9c6a-efaa763952ee" id="2cadcece-8979-42e3-bc6f-503754df6075"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b8a1219d-61ad-4766-be1a-ceee082355a9" id="81ce2658-7f20-48c9-b576-6257fb31d03e">boobie</gs></gs><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="395bfcda-d193-4440-9c6a-efaa763952ee" id="e626ad6c-2a31-4bd0-9215-125661a232eb"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b8a1219d-61ad-4766-be1a-ceee082355a9" id="9321b284-66a9-47ec-8ccc-065f1060ec40">doos</gs></gs>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="395bfcda-d193-4440-9c6a-efaa763952ee" id="e27df2e8-e94a-4b4f-9e54-20626fc1f18b"><gs class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b8a1219d-61ad-4766-be1a-ceee082355a9" id="72360bbe-3921-4ac3-ae4c-0e51ad526ad2">joggers it</gs></gs><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>will have to be my boy!" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Disgruntled, he disappears to examine
further the objected joggers. It doesn't take too long before he is back
downstairs and the whole episode has been forgotten.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Life! Crikey in for a penny, in for
a pound today! We have a new addition to the family, a 10 week old
kitten called Roman, who insists on sitting on the keyboard whilst I'm typing.
So in the true meaning of inclusion here is a little insert from Roo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">m17]]]]]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">]77777777774<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't know about you guys, but I've always
wondered whether it would be obvious to see those genetic personality
traits we all attempt to seek out in our offspring. It turns out our
'Bob' is a chip off the ol' block and very opinionated like his
Mother. In our attempt to spread our 'Bob's social wings, he has joined a
local young person’s forum and Youth Cabinet, and has thoroughly enjoyed it.
He continues to strengthen his ability to voice his views and opinions on
autism, disability and the World, and hearing him talk about his difficulties
has opened my eyes and my mind to all the other possibilities for his future.
He brings tears to my eyes when I least expect it. Incredibly unpredictable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Knowing how difficult it is for our 'Bob'
to put himself out there, he challenged perception and his own demons, and put
himself forward for the local Youth Parliament elections. Now just
putting your name down can be harrowing, but bless him, he wrote his election
speech and filmed his election video which was sent round to all local schools.
We went through every result possible throughout the couple of months
wait. Finally the vote count was on, and a reception at the Town Hall
meant that 'Bob' overcame a huge amount of social anxiety about unfamiliar
places and people to attend. I was sent away with a flea in my ear
because "nobody else will have brought their mums". Sad face!
I waited in the car park for ages. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">His face said it all! He was last
with 303 votes, disappointed yes. How do you recover from that blow?
With a lot of positives and a bag full of love. The fact 303 young
people voted for him was incredible! He was my Hero, it wasn't about beating
someone else, it was the 'doing it', it was pushing yourself irrespectively of his internal turmoil to try something new.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">With reassurance I told 'Bob' he could try
again next year, to which he responded with an emphatic "No".
The embarrassment and now known anxiety had left its mark, an episode in life ticked off the bucket list but NEVER to be revisited again.</span></div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-18528491702723205482014-09-15T04:25:00.000-07:002014-09-15T08:32:09.099-07:00Can We Ever Let Go?If you could see inside my head, the view would be congested with little red balls shooting off in all directions. Can I ever see myself removing the invisible cloak of protection from my children, in particular our 'Bob'. Honestly, truthfully, and without apology, NO! It's not because I don't trust them, it's because I don't trust the world. Is that a dreadful thing to say? Am I judging a book cover? Or has the story just been tainted by the horrors seeded throughout.<br />
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<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR4iomoWC2E8RXAIt7Zo9Vc5Qj1B8VZ-FM3BUytO5CAWAFkIMR5" /></div>
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The closer <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ea0ae2bf-a4a1-4434-9a49-9c786ee1c980" id="a70fb34d-7d83-40fa-a308-0e5134a7e8b7"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c773f768-ec77-4d7c-906b-f5a61845a225" id="4e3df571-65d7-450d-b0f0-54c0326b001c"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a13672a0-e703-490e-b502-ceafa3642807" id="7c6765f2-d7c7-40a4-a2ac-761857e36a53">our</span></span></span> 'Bob' gets to his 16th birthday, the more unsettled I get. This last week he has accused me of being over-protective, in fact, he had another almighty meltdown about my interference in whom he could and couldn't speak to over the internet. He is certainly pushing the ground rules and boundaries. We've had the chats about staying safe online, and if we personally don't know people then we do not accept them as friends. I've always spoken frankly with 'Bob', we learnt early on the ambiguity wasn't his strong point, and that we always had better responses when we just told him the truth. <br />
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This new ADHD medication isn't helping either; Anxiety levels up, stress levels up! That's just me! We are revisiting comments about death, 'not being here', 'life is not worth living', 'everyone is against me' and the good old <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="67f6fc56-2635-4445-8111-1c45750d4d64" id="c5143b90-a09b-4190-a65b-c0307cc26023"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="93b3341c-4120-4b1f-a420-f1caae602a6a" id="35d0b956-d9f1-474a-9709-b3bc253aed37">favourite</span></span> 'I hate autism and ADHD'. Even his TA is concerned with his persistence in mentioning death at every opportunity. His turmoil is my turmoil, and this is not the right time to have unpredictable side effects from new <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="26d51166-e9c1-42a5-a5c0-4788628b88ad" id="be43e1e6-9d11-465d-b520-eda408390d94"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="4fb5b809-5ef9-427c-85a0-843ed63e1d90" id="d9930f58-e550-4597-9122-fefae7a7986d">meds</span></span>. The stresses of exams and transition..... <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f7f1a140-2d53-4723-88cf-9248c76554cb" id="1b61dab8-827a-44d7-bc2d-1eeb7123a7e9"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f314153d-32d9-4b17-9667-6032ec3d82d0" id="a0924695-c6ee-4955-a9c3-652404240013">Arghhhhhhhh</span></span>!<br />
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Our life is so tied up with routine, rigidity and rule, that to say it's all about control is merely scratching the surface. It's in there somewhere, but also can be the problem. Battles are rife and there is no sign of a peace treaty. Well, certainly not till we resolve the medication issue at the next CAMHS appointment. <br />
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I'm walking around with a heavy mass in my stomach and I can tell you it isn't from eating too many pies! I dread home time, dread homework, dread bedtime, dread, dread, dread!! <br />
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And to top it off, our 'Bob' wants to write a book!! A teenage Mummy and Me book. I would love to do this with 'Bob' but not this week. I'm still struggling with the speed of independence and the challenges loosening the parental grip is presenting. Am I making too much of his vulnerability, is it just me! Mr A would say yes if you asked him last month but even he has seen a dramatic change in 'Bob's <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ef6079e4-61f1-42dd-b1c3-36b4f3155adb" id="37cb4a98-9067-44f5-af87-1a812e37ee5e"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="6b96d227-0c2e-47f4-97e2-6ba96731af1c" id="47ef3983-f987-4196-9a90-bb58d42e1eee">behaviour</span></span>. Am I overreacting? Can't help it, I'm afraid! <br />
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Who needs help with <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="0971536d-8222-4c14-af5d-92cd5c8e989f" id="e6a1a2be-da49-4330-b2b9-23315c7ff08d"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="44d59a31-cc85-479d-9a58-69fe0f871506" id="7b60a5e4-9ff3-414b-aa5b-d44e4aec43da">transition</span></span>? Think it might just be me!<br />
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-5317380348495998272014-09-01T16:46:00.000-07:002014-09-02T03:00:12.683-07:00Transition - In More Ways Than OneReality has reeled us back into normality like a long lost friend. Picking up where you left off hasn't been easy, and just because you are so damned <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="023c06e5-68f7-4537-8485-2da3f10e6b2f" id="ad9e6789-4732-40d5-a9ed-6312426be74b"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f0d1e463-faec-4c84-8539-e012e967e5cb" id="d9b26f09-f03d-42fa-96b8-8962cabafa49"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="e15f1506-5b5b-420e-81b9-eaffca3cf574" id="33c26362-87e8-4e51-9c87-127205a801d4"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="be02467c-6669-4121-8122-58fc92ae3aeb" id="d9452608-6f89-4806-92b1-8d4f6a8da05d">organised</span></span></span> doesn't make for smooth sailing either</span>! By the end of the Summer term the whole Autynary clan was exhausted, mentally and physically. Time was needed to <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9ad10c98-6177-41bf-bb58-10be5bd39462" id="e8d93418-1b98-4d58-951f-f5f95e2aa4c0">rebalance</span> and redress, detox from technology and go back to basics.<br />
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My tipping point was forgetting to send back promptly a document for DWP on behalf of our 'Bob'. I could have kicked myself! Actually, no, I walked round the kitchen repeating lots of expletives! For many, receiving disability living allowance for your child, can make a huge difference to the needs of that child and a lifeline for hundreds. The initial process for applying for DLA was torturous, having to describe the worst of your child's <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="246fc04e-d682-4665-a541-d1186bc32949" id="151ef324-628e-4c5c-9699-28bf9e9ac511"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="8ba25cab-3e51-442a-bdd8-45cded5516dd" id="600f3307-a2b3-460a-8a7f-e9c30bb3a20f">behaviour</span></span>, difficulties and see their vulnerability in black and white was most definitely not what I signed up for! So when we received the DWP letter reminding us of our 'Bob's impending 16th birthday and the changes this entails, why on earth did I put it somewhere safe and forget about it! A grand reminder that our little man wasn't so little or the uncertainty of the adult world, <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="95c8bbf6-85a5-4927-977e-2802f4cbc111" id="4acaa732-afbe-45b1-9a5c-c87bd90d643a"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="63a538ac-687d-455f-b2f5-99df87d2acc8" id="8bce183d-e8e9-4096-9fdf-d6a76d27165a">fear</span></span>, too much too soon, the unknown..... All of the above, I think!<br />
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Mr Autynary wasn't helping with his explosive response to external anxieties, not a good advert for the adult Auty world influences, and certainly didn't help the ongoing deep discussions between me and our 'Bob' about the changes that would be happening to him over the next 12 months.<br />
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Our 'Bob' took part in a local conference for young people with SEN and disability which prompted a significant amount of soul searching on his part about autism and combined with his new ADHD medication, increased his anxieties about the difference between himself and others. He has been troubled by so many thoughts swimming around in his head, and with this mix of unknowns insists on calling any awkward situation as 'embarrassing'. An increase in meltdowns was most definitely a 'sure thing' this Summer! No failing on that part, I have finger bruises to prove it. Our 'Bob' has given a new meaning to the Facebook 'poke'!<br />
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Our 'Bob' and I took part in an interview with the BBC, about the SEND changes and the impact this will have on young people preparing for post 16 transition (will let you know when it's being aired). Interesting and what an experience! As I am standing watching Nikki Fox speaking to our 'Bob', and listening to him struggling with his stutter, desperately trying to explain the difficulties, one thing is for sure he is most definitely his mother's son. I am so very proud of him. Not wanting to be seen in the shot, or for the crew to see, I wipe away my tears! I have never heard him talk with such passion about autism and his family's support.<br />
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This seemed to start the rolling discussions throughout Summer, and not wanting to stop the flow, consciously decided that whilst I love to write, our 'Bob' wanted to talk and I needed to listen. <br />
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And as you all know, our life is full of epiphanies, light bulb moments, sure things, drama and unknowns. I needed to stop being a 'Weeble' wobble, find my <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="0fdfaadc-1884-4e87-aaeb-a03de3efeb9a" id="b46eeffb-7ac9-46ee-aa80-3032f41327ae"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="6c7f29e4-82f4-4626-a669-e0ea857cf47a" id="89323d3e-11ff-4b90-8bcb-c22fc759eac0">centre</span></span>, recharge, reinforce and to give myself a break! I was selfish! It wasn't a 'place' I wanted to share and it wouldn't have been fair. It is so difficult to just consciously stop, most people will be forced by a situation or external force, but it is so important for parents who are <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="09972f56-3175-43f0-9ee3-7defad67665b" id="2b248f16-a6d0-4ed2-9a82-63fc5f52cade"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ebc5c820-77aa-4b5d-a71e-d3f1a69411dd" id="d415eee0-f215-4c62-9f40-8058e50fac22">carers</span></span> to care about themselves. "It's easy for you to say" I hear you cry, OK, I know, but please don't feel guilty for retreating for a while to recharge, taking half an hour in the bath or like me completely retreating for over a month just remember to come back where like-minded individuals can continue to support you. <br />
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My retreat meant I missed my blog's first anniversary, so HAPPY ANNIVERSAY MRS AUTYNARY, I hope the next year will be filled with lots of experiences to share (good ones in abundance, please!), lots of laughter ('sure thing' our 'Bob's involved), tears (only those of joy) and friendship.<br />
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Watch out for our 'Bob's tales of political <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="86016fa7-5961-4f27-8d02-e789b059c620" id="b5944b85-8731-4020-ac5f-a5e929234fa2"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b9fa6f39-4e88-4a56-97d1-6431da905465" id="aacc50cf-703b-40ba-92f4-90d2db43fca0">supremeness</span></span>, writing a book and shaking off Mum!<br />
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-8023800973974860792014-06-24T14:34:00.000-07:002014-06-24T14:34:07.824-07:00The World Stopped and I Got Off!!!!!!I feel I have been away from blogging land for such a long time, it was a struggle to step back into the writing world I so <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="64fce322-86b4-4171-9191-bacec43d8fe5" id="3bb22363-e651-4c63-b5c5-8b14b4273c5b">love</span>. The reason you may well be asking, one huge heart wrenching biggie!!<br />
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Just because I have a child with a disability does not mean I am excluded from the "How can this happen to me" club, far from it! Life is not selective in who it dishes up crap too! And some of us have far more than our fair share in one life time.<br />
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Our world was turned upside down eight weeks ago when Grandad Autynary became very ill and started to have difficulty eating. Not living nearby was relying on the updates from Auntie N, and Nanna Autynary. The decision not to tell our 'Bob' was not an easy one, it was very much on a 'need to know' basis. The anxiety and continuous inquisitive line of questioning would have been too much to bear.<br />
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One of THE most hated words in the world entered our life in silence because nobody could bring themselves to say it! We all knew but in the back of our mind, there was still hope, a glimmer of positive uncertainty. And as the days blended into one another, the unspoken word took grip and it was quite clear IT wasn't going to give up without a fight.<br />
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<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ab5e82e5-a315-4cd1-8694-5e58bc108eb2" id="da954c28-3b48-4b34-b33c-9b73fdebfe51">Grandad</span> Autynary isn't my biological Daddy, but just because we don't share the same blood line doesn't mean he was any less a Dad, in fact he was my Dad longer than my biological father. My first memories were his feet, yep, his feet. I was four and it was the last visit I had with my Mum before our lives took a dramatic side step, She had picked me up and we had stopped at a bus stop on the main road, out of the blue this car pulled up and a giant of a man got out. He had driven from the North to the South not knowing where he was going or how to get there, managed to drive several times round London before stumbling across us on the main road. He told Mum he had a feeling that he needed to be there. So picture the old western movies where the camera pans into the cowboy boots, cowboy getting off his horse, and you hear the clink of his spurs, and the distinctive high noon tune..... Well, for a four year old that was my western moment.<br />
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When I was 15 he took me into his home, and from the onset I was part of the family. He was the man who was always there with the tissues, or the vodka! He was the man with words of wisdom. He was the man who brought me a stiff drink on the morning of my wedding when I had the wobbles, and gave me away into the safe hands of my husband. He was one who took me to the hospital when I was ill with pre-eclampsia when I was carrying our 'Liz' and one of the first people to hold my babies. He is their Grandaddy. <strike></strike><br />
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When I rejoined the family <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="bc20d6f9-040c-4035-87ad-8ab559515355" id="dc3d48d2-5f91-4ab6-8e31-d604f90c3966">at</span> 15 one of the first words he said to me was to let me know I had a cold nose after giving him a peck on the cheek, and proceeded to tell me on a regular basis that I was always the one with a cold nose. On my last visit they were the last words he struggled to tell me........ "Still got a cold nose!"<br />
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After the greatest battle of his life, and we have been through many, he sadly lost the fight against the silent killer. He was the most stoic man I know, and right up to the very end the bravest. It's difficult to tell any child that their grandparent has passed away, and for anybody to say that children on the spectrum wouldn't necessarily feel or 'get it' is so far from the truth. My boy misses his <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="fa7e7b85-4a5d-434f-b44c-fc66287ccff9" id="4312b13b-0d84-4d4c-8e44-432ed2995aec">Grandad</span>, he was a constant in his life, in all our lives. He isn't the only one who misses him terribly.<br />
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For me there are moments of normality, just because you have to and as you all know, autism takes no prisoners, tinged with overwhelming moments of fluidity of salt water from <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="db4de180-8094-4fed-9514-16205a57aefa" id="6305dc00-fc3c-459a-ab47-7ba412afe626">ones</span> eyes. There is a heaviness that starts from my knees and works its way up and lays heavy on my heart which just doesn't want to budge. Thursday will be our day for goodbyes and reflection, lots of tears and a bucket load of happy reminiscing.<br />
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For my Dad, The Gentle Giant, love you and miss you XXXXXX<br />
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-72421810871723170282014-05-12T14:19:00.002-07:002014-05-12T14:19:57.657-07:00When Life Gives You Lemons.........................................When life gives you lemons, suck hard and wince!!!! Life sometimes doesn't wait to be invited to stop, it naturally puts on the brakes and you find yourself ploughing into the back of the person in front of you!!<br />
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This last month we had our 'Bob's review, new medication, launch event of the Parents Forum, developing 'Bob's revision techniques for GCSEs, and lots and lots of SEN information to read. I have chased my tail that many times in the last four weeks and flown by the seat of my pants, I should be wearing my knickers over my tights and a red cape!! Not that I am saying I'm Superwoman, far from it! I think SEN mummies wear red capes all the time, not too sure about the knickers though that would be above and beyond the call of duty, and very bizarre!<br />
<br />
I have dealt with child and adult meltdowns for a variety of reasons; some completely off the wall and others with good reason, and I have had to hold my hands up and take responsibility for my own actions. Uncomfortable, yes! Necessary, yes! Life changing, you betcha! <br />
<br />
I have had some incredible conversations with some incredible SEN parents who take Warrior Mums to another level. Inspiring and touching, making me <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ce993277-7acf-42fc-8230-9de1a7845fa3" id="fa453c9f-1361-47c8-85b3-3ddf16810ea6">realise</span> the need for parental support can be such a lifeline for so many families, and such a rewarding thing to be a part of.<br />
<br />
I have reached into my own emotional suitcase more times than I cared for this last month, know it still hurts, but I'm able to carefully put it away until the next time. I have struggled to know when they all need to come out and come to the conclusion that whilst they are safely boxed away they can all stay there a little bit longer.<br />
<br />
SEN life is changing for so many families, and it's ramping up at a right rate of knots. Awareness and readiness are going to be crucial to successful implementation, there's no stopping the world this time, it's ploughing its way through into September and beyond! I truly believe in working together, the new buzz word is Co-production and its threaded through the new SEN Code of Practice.<br />
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SEN parents need to be at the very heart of these changes, and involved in the delivery of services for their children and
young people in equal partnership. Our local authorities need to <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="4df8d880-e562-4336-a181-8658fc76d16d" id="e4b1e438-9348-40a4-9de5-68ec8d051712">realise</span> that although they may have the expertise, we as parents have the knowledge of our own individual children and that is invaluable! Parents as Partners; Working with, Not to!</div>
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-11808651903825783952014-04-14T02:08:00.000-07:002014-04-14T02:08:58.434-07:00"I Hate This House!" - Sibling With A View<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
It truly doesn't matter how old your children are, or if they're
on the spectrum or not! If they've got a<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ffd957eb-3be8-4503-ada2-7bed73823403" id="fa4fcaa9-d9f4-487d-b1de-2117e4465e39">gripe</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>the whole house knows about it.
Sadly, it is usually us<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="84cb322c-a67e-42ba-bf56-738b4051c9e6" id="1541bb26-5312-4783-9279-22056912e57d">mummies</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>who take the brunt of the directed
rage. For other people looking in, a perception of the spoilt brat
syndrome, or just a horrible, badly parented child is quite often a
stereotypical conclusion. Step inside the sibling world of a child who is
on the spectrum and one who has ADHD, and try to understand how difficult it
must be for them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There's no blame to be had, but it
certainly is tricky avoiding the feeling of guilt! Our 'Lil' is in her
twenties now and is 'Bob's older sister. She's nearly six years older,
and for those first six years it was just me, her and Dad. A lot of the
time it was just her and me, Mr A spent lots of time working away and we loved
doing girlie stuff. Every weekend would be girlie road trip, and we would
go all over the place. Even when she was a baby and I didn't drive,
somehow we still managed to get out and about.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I recall the times when she was a toddler
and I would be getting ready for work. '<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="1518a41a-9587-42a7-9388-bd5e3355bded" id="42f7a114-ae5a-4199-82cd-f9573e4e2b5c">Lil</span>' would be sent back to sleep
by the noise of the hairdryer, and she would just absolutely love to help me
choose my outfit. I never had any concerns about her development, she was
way too smart even from being a couple of hours old, this baby was holding her
own head up and being a right old nosey parker! She didn't miss a trick!
If there is such a thing, she probably had an old head on young shoulders.
I know someone once told my grandmother the exact same thing about me, I
was never too sure what they meant, but she is very much like me, probably more
ways than she would like!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7yhm9uXJITUhtFsV-CWGogfR_2P2EnV6E9UqnqrgWWaQy72UpOH8w9TCvwBkkpeDnTzrWH1KLzw8V-Xrs2paNmZzxA-xlTWIVvf1XQ9SJUMDugELP2fPUGVzr-jRlS-2BEoKlAOTxEPd-/s1600/photo+1+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7yhm9uXJITUhtFsV-CWGogfR_2P2EnV6E9UqnqrgWWaQy72UpOH8w9TCvwBkkpeDnTzrWH1KLzw8V-Xrs2paNmZzxA-xlTWIVvf1XQ9SJUMDugELP2fPUGVzr-jRlS-2BEoKlAOTxEPd-/s1600/photo+1+(4).JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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When our 'Bob' came along, it was quite
easy to prepare 'Lil' for the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>imminent arrival.
She was a proper mother hen before he was even born, and where possible I
would involve her in much of the preparation. She loves her brother so
very much, she might not like to admit it half the time because he's 'weird' 'a
pain' and generally finds him irritating! But don't all sisters think
that about their brothers at some point.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She does not let Autism or ADHD influence
her view of her brother, his<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="22697af1-1708-4fa2-ab22-82844cda2ff5" id="4796763f-9173-418b-a07b-890cbf2ceb10">behaviour</span>,
though sometimes gets a verbal 'thrashing! I often wonder whether his<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="e2006437-1522-4b45-b830-7c13e6c27472" id="1cdb556e-72f4-441a-ad8e-4eb63b3a339f">behaviour</span> held her back from
inviting people to our home, and influenced her decision to only have a very
small select group of friends. I suppose when you've experienced a
sleepover birthday party and your young brother pee's in your friends shoes,
does leave you somewhat mortified and a little bit worried about the
unpredictability.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There is a <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>part<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>of
me that has always been concerned that having an 'odd' dad and 'weird' brother,
stressed mum may well have contributed towards how she sees her place in the
world. She has<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="814b7d0c-8282-4a71-b546-b8db48dc1134" id="b4773559-36a9-4c96-a722-4a38739cf349">to have been
influenced</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>by the environment, no
matter how hard I've tried to balance out 'normal' (whatever that may be) with
the 'quirky'!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Have I ever questioned whether she is on
the spectrum? Yep, and she has too! I am sure she isn't, In my honest
opinion she has been influenced by the traits, and yes, there are moments when
you think that almighty outburst over something trivial or the inability
to make adjustments for someone else's<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="62c43f03-e68c-441d-83b1-4dc3b73151ce" id="f25c5e43-6149-4515-9fd5-0f227a38a58e">behaviour</span>, or
the orderly way we dispense our breakfast might just.... Then she does
something else like seeking out a snuggle, or tells you she loves you, or asks
me why I look so sad and there is the moment of reassurance!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not always plain sailing though! We
have had tears before bedtime, she has hated living here on numerous
occasions, 'Bob' gets away with everything, we give him more attention and
the all time<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="281dc107-bdaf-4694-9d84-e6d7125b00ba" id="8b3bedf9-08f3-4f13-b4cc-f2d549cca720">favourite</span>, we
love him more! So far away from the truth, but for her it's real.
For us, we have to acknowledge it does feel real for her and we have had
to learn not to dismiss, to be open to change (even though that in itself can
be quite controversial), and more fundamental than anything else being able to
just listen. I can't tell you the amount of times she has pushed the
boundaries for one's own gains, though, and she has been successful on several
occasions. Sometimes it wasn't worth sweating over the small stuff, it's
hard being a sibling of a child with SEN and/or disability, and you have to
pick your fights as a parent!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then you hear a squeal, and this
almighty roar of laughter, running through the house like a herd of
elephants and you find that one of them has jumped out on the other, or they
were tickling one another, or chasing each other around the house with Nerf
guns or water pistols. You find them collapsed in a fit of laughter on
the sofa, and you smile, and for that split second you feel the warmth of
a job well done.<o:p></o:p></div>
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'<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a7b2f41c-a649-468c-84b1-c5d6255eeb96" id="5e70f0d6-897f-4711-b492-0e54a6bc9dab">Lil</span>' and I know that 'Bob' may not always
be there to look out for her, not because he won't, but because he may not<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a7b2f41c-a649-468c-84b1-c5d6255eeb96" id="39420102-7022-4ec0-b4a9-da0ce37c5c32">recognise</span> when she does need him.
I've got time yet to work on that one with him and no matter what 'Lil' says
she will always have her brothers back.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am so very proud of my daughter because
despite how chaotic our family life is and what a<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>roller coaster ride we've been
on, she has studied hard, got some fantastic exam results, goes to University,
has developed a good work ethic (she has been working part time in one job or
another since she was 14), and has turned into such a beautiful human being
with a good heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="7b07f584-5754-4781-acab-225cd7b2bd52" id="68d29a7d-e965-4911-802b-00d57cf15c5c">honour</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>of National Sibling Day which has just
passed, our 'Lil' and 'Bob', through the tears, heartache and happiness,
Siblings together forever!<span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-74209092968347508452014-03-30T15:13:00.000-07:002014-04-12T03:57:32.780-07:00OMG! I'm in a Book........ & To Wonderful New Friendships on Mothers Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZAToF1rubUqjAOwq7uwvUzf4IZ6f-amo3rlJt9C7e6lCroBV5bxQwEp_Hul9wJtv3wemL9dlJAQXq1Xw4y7QisS8Bzdg3PXb9qvUIWSi7ifLKv_ofiULUeG_cImI7UzZ0AfxkOP8xckl/s1600/1898847_10203465953677395_1197196215_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZAToF1rubUqjAOwq7uwvUzf4IZ6f-amo3rlJt9C7e6lCroBV5bxQwEp_Hul9wJtv3wemL9dlJAQXq1Xw4y7QisS8Bzdg3PXb9qvUIWSi7ifLKv_ofiULUeG_cImI7UzZ0AfxkOP8xckl/s1600/1898847_10203465953677395_1197196215_o.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Look what arrived yesterday morning!
Seriously giddy as a kipper! I'm in a book! Eek!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Before I
plucked up the courage to start blogging, and I do this quite a lot of the
time, was<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="673c60b7-f163-4080-ac0c-ba4f3aa3ccf6" id="709562e7-def6-4d28-9d14-465231190700"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c74468ba-c192-40d1-86dc-2fe0c1f64028" id="11841406-c352-4c2b-84a1-78d99943f338"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="491c51d6-72ff-463c-807c-afefcf790934" id="40f4303c-f92e-4438-a500-911aed65a853">viewing</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>from the sidelines. There was the
fantastic Wendy, who triumphed so<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="2675337e-f673-451f-8e4c-12c13a0bc91f" id="8568e615-d507-4d17-94c6-f68e8d28b6de"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="3f4112a0-9064-4769-ac46-5b8878ca3100" id="a9778dec-a502-438b-8627-214e9f4448fb"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="552d593e-40dd-4f65-bed2-f4c9806e1099" id="dfe8e76b-0fb9-47fc-8441-58a66211ccc6">much</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and blogged with such conviction on <a href="http://www.savette.com/">www.savette.com</a>, and then there was super Jo, who's positivity towards autism
is an inspiration over on <a href="http://www.mummyworgan.blogspot.co.uk/">www.mummyworgan.blogspot.co.uk</a>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and
then there was this wonderful woman Michelle, who pulled their stories together
and like wings of an angel wrapped them into this safe haven of support and
warmth, over at <a href="http://michelledaly.blogspot.co.uk/">http://michelledaly.blogspot.co.uk</a>.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have to
thank Wendy for her support and encouragement, and helping me find my
confidence to write that first blog post. I had absolutely no idea
whether anybody would be interested in reading anything I had to say, with
Wendy's help she made me<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f880107b-a433-49ba-a5a4-a7d5ff8689bc" id="3c63ae8b-a353-4ee0-93cc-60e264e3805e"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="8cbeac3b-57bf-46c8-a711-895b5dda569e" id="1a71a66e-9e90-40eb-a339-01c70c4f9555"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="356ecc62-f616-45d2-a2d0-33cc79264b7a" id="0b4a3387-b934-4a91-b40d-0a29153eeb07">realise</span></span></span> that
if only one person read it and found shared experience then it is well worth
it. She probably doesn't know how much she has impacted on my life, nor would
Jo or Michelle, we make comments on posts and retweet stories but not necessary say these
words. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 18pt;">Thank you
ladies, and to all the other ladies out there who blog with passion, a huge
Thank you, you guys<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="25d2b326-bd3d-4a02-865b-eccf262e3115" id="9380c457-b1aa-4a5b-ac21-6175a0976dd9"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9548b0d8-fe7d-44c9-92ac-5f5fcc833ba7" id="e27cc2a2-d0e0-47bb-9334-877bdf040710"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="e5bed2ec-3096-4408-aa94-172c1643fa75" id="852060d3-99ae-4a5b-b4ed-32d0545a6c7a">do make</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>a difference to peoples lives.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Michelle Daly
writes this fantastic blog Warrior Mums, I stumbled across it, like most
things, on Twitter. There was lots of activity on Twitter one Sunday
night, and I thought I would hop on over to find out what was causing such
excitement. Wow! What incredible stories were being told and such
inspiration. I was truly astonished, that these ladies were<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c7e7aea8-b103-4247-8f9e-d572e319c7cb" id="2955e07b-f454-4e08-bc88-0cdf2cb70662"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="d9aef047-c883-494b-97a6-434d4a43483d" id="b9a7f064-9d0f-4d34-baac-2cc90fbe476f"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c4dfdc78-fed8-4b3c-bed6-fe70994ef637" id="652a747d-b72d-4050-91b0-77c527bae93b">laying</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>bare such emotion for all to read.
I wept, I laughed and I felt their pain. Michelle collaborates with
these fantastic Mums, sharing their incredible stories, the lows, the highs and
with some delightful photographs. I do love a good photo! </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I don't know
how it happened, but I was<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f92e23c8-132e-449a-8847-f6df1909375d" id="dfda91c9-8e25-4627-9ad8-f3069ab58b54"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="36428cba-5739-4e23-80f3-481446610786" id="38ac487c-bdbe-49b7-9641-8cd3a42879a7"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ae79d708-345c-4857-a555-a072b70bc66f" id="e9a58f89-a8c4-48e4-a065-3180132fd86a">honoured</span></span></span> to
be asked by Michelle to contribute to her growing collection of super Warrior
Mums' stories. At first I didn't know whether I could do it, it wasn't
the stuff about our 'Bob' that was the difficulty, it was talking about me!
Not many professionals ask about you! There were a few tears cried
over the piece, some raw nerves plucked but throughout the process Michelle was
at the other end of the line.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">When you read
about Michelle, and I suggest that you get a copy of her book With a little
help from my friends<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Help-my-Friends/dp/0957048734"> http://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Help-my-Friends/dp/0957048734</a>,
you soon<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b6b5229d-ea84-4abe-80eb-d0411206db3d" id="bd16a83a-6883-4197-94bf-b8ba68fdc6f5"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="d3a24f7c-c597-4041-9e22-5ec62b02c72f" id="80bf8572-9ca0-4e95-a647-7e9d65db1feb"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="6913fac0-9354-432e-b2bf-702536eb7be2" id="bf917d85-e7ae-435f-946d-2668fc1050d1">realise</span></span></span> what
an incredible woman she is. <span style="background: white;">Amazon's
information about the author "Michelle Daly was kicked out of school at
age fifteen with a reference stating, “Michelle thinks life is one big joke.”
She went on to work with children in residential care and in 1972, at nineteen,
became the youngest single woman in Britain to obtain legal guardianship of a
child; Marie, a seven year-old with mental and physical disabilities. In 1990,
they moved to<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Ireland, a<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>country she refers<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>as her second<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>home, where she<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>home schooled<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>her two children, Patrick and Anna. An
advocate for children’s rights and people with special needs, she lives with
Marie in Liverpool. Michelle has also written a book of fiction, I Love
Charlotte Brontë, which is available in paperback and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Kindle<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>editions."</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I can tell you so much more about this lovely lady; tenacity, fight,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>passionate,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>dedicated, courageous, gutsy, love,
warmth,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>inspiration, brave and
someone I am so proud to call a friend. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Personally speaking, I had never experienced someone willing to fight so
hard for a child, let alone one that wasn't related to them. I'd
experienced being fought over, never having anybody fighting for me! I
was amazed!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">When Michelle mentioned she was putting together the stories to create a
book, I don't think it sunk in to be honest. I knew she was busy putting
it all together and checked in every now and then to make sure she was OK.
Then bang! It's here! </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will never tire of saying what a privilege it has been to be
included in this book. It's appropriate that all the proceeds should
go to such a wonderful<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9566d44f-f8ad-459f-a563-9433e5c87f4d" id="dcb4be57-100b-45c9-939a-98364d7e58d1"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a85eddce-24d1-410d-8a8f-e0199fe49561" id="c6128c7e-4cb1-45e3-b7d7-b1c850086c93"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="3250ff96-70b9-408d-8dda-4f140810405a" id="62e48501-1288-4de8-9584-c8df080fc315">organisation</span></span></span> MENCAP <a href="http://www.mencap.org.uk/">http://www.mencap.org.uk/</a></span><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> and what a lovely foreword from Jan Tregelles, Chief Executive, Royal Mencap
Society. If you only buy one book this year, please pick this one. Within
it you will find a collection of truly marvelous, inspirational and
amazing Mums, all different but with a common bond, love for our children and
families!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">To my fellow Warrior Mums, Cheers! What a fantastic club we are in, loved reading every single story and so chuffed we are in it together. To the Warrior Mums of tomorrow, can't wait for you to join us and read your incredible, amazing and inspirational stories. To Michelle, Thank you. You are one in a million, keep doing what you do best, being an Angel! <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="3572a6b6-c58e-44cc-a2f5-52384906f2ab" id="ae527b59-091e-4ed0-9793-e68c0438581a"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ebf9d5d5-adcf-484e-9cc8-5ee8690bd29b" id="9eebdf53-9021-4e76-aba5-e3ea522f1608"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a8029503-d20e-4aa0-ad6f-03314be95245" id="3676af57-d91b-4c0e-b27d-88cd59cfa50e">Xxx</span></span></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 20pt;">One last word; Thank you to all the readers out
there, without your input these posts are merely just twittering from the
front line. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 20pt;">Much love and respect <i>Justine xxx</i></span></b></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-84954394341055954352014-03-24T03:46:00.000-07:002014-03-24T03:46:07.426-07:00Detectives Autynary and 'Bob' - When Two Worlds Work Together!<div style="text-align: justify;">
How far would you go to step into your child's world? Well, since
the disappearance of Flight MH 370 I have been doing just that. I've
jumped in and now I'm up to my shoulders in it! I have always found that
I have been the parent on the periphery, I don't really bring much to the
table. I mean I'm not really into science and engineering, and I've never
had a penchant for trains, planes and automobiles!</div>
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As soon as 'Bob's radar hearing heard the
words plane and crash resonating from the television, the whole house has been
on news watch! Mr Autynary didn't need much encouragement either.
It starts with a full run down of the overnight news from the moment we
get up. Flicking between the BBC and Sky news channels, looking for vital clues and even the
cross reference of data has managed to sneak into the morning routine without
much interference. Strange that, when the change is desired it manages to
pass quality control reasonably well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="38b3b07e-28d1-4745-b406-0c108c1289a9" id="43e1fc18-6858-4097-ad0b-ac6f145c8182">am given</span> strict instructions to
hold a watch on the latest updates, and if something genuinely important is
reported to make sure Mr A gets an email. My own 'Breaking News' update
is called for from the moment 'Bob' gets in the car after school, and we have
to digest and evaluate any data change. 'Bob' is really eager to get home
straight away, so unless I want a hoo-ha about stopping off for vital
supplies, it's straight home we go.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You're probably thinking, Why? Stop! Or
you're thinking I've gone completely barmy! I've missed The Voice,
poor Phil and Holly haven't seen the light of day this week in Autynary Towers,
and I didn't even get to see The Boys from Saturday Night Takeaway on a plus
one.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I've found myself debating theories, and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="171ded58-72b8-48cc-a702-710e43430837" id="2efc40a7-8b7d-491d-ada8-ea18c0ab0f67">analysing</span> speculation with Mr A
and 'Bob' and have spent hours searching on the internet, like so many others,
for a miracle landing on some uninhabited island. For Mr A and 'Bob' it's
all about the technical and for me it's about the human aspect. The human
aspect requires an understanding of emotion, empathic attitude, and
psychological observations, all of which Mr A and 'Bob' do not find easy if at
all! The importance of logic and mechanical failure is a preferred
explanation for my boys, and the digestion of disparaging information about the
crew intriguing. I need them and they need me to make sense of it all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I know I've been swept away with this
obsessive approach, and it won't be the last time either I'm sure.
The principals are the same, though, working together to make sense of
the world! I'm encouraged that this method will open up a window of
understanding. I know emotions don't come with a formula that can be
easily applied, but this is a good visual living experience which will become a
memory.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Our 'Bob's last SLT review
recently <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="dc227f97-4cb9-496e-94fa-b7c408c78522" id="c1c39676-e4a2-4c55-9b85-5f4f93af60e7">recognised</span> he was still having difficulty seeing things from
another persons point of view, and the differences they bring. Which, as
any<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Auty parent will know,
that is one hell of a difficulty in this world. When you put this in
context with all those other difficulties you can see how even the smallest of
positive influences can make a difference; he's still struggling adapting to
change, difficulty in asking for help and other social interaction complexities!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don't set out a plan to learn from every
experience in our life, far from it. I'm not that <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="820c3b23-1232-4ede-8b90-af1c2225e798" id="d0ec4791-7243-422b-820c-53aa92807921">organised</span> to
be honest! It's usually writing this blog, I find by epiphany! I just try
to bring all of my neurotypical traits to the table in hope that we can find a
balance that works for us as a family. I smile, 2 against 1, I have to go armed with something!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-18608414254573213352014-03-02T14:48:00.000-08:002014-03-02T14:48:17.722-08:00Who's survived the half term?<div style="text-align: justify;">
I wonder if I am the only Mum who is more perturbed by the disruption to routine that the half term brings than the child, especially when the child needs so much structure and support. It's taken this last week to catch up with all my jobs, and the 'to do' list was getting to such epic proportions that even procrastination got up and left the room!</div>
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Would you believe we've never really had any firm strategies when it came to school holidays, they are always an anomaly. It is a time that gets lost in refusals, meltdowns, negotiation and ultimately bribery, and over the years this has become more difficult as 'Bob' has got older. Have we, Mr Autynary and I have been lazy, could have been! In our defense, we spend most of the year desperately trying to achieve engagement, it's almost like the whole house takes a huge sigh and collapses out of sheer exhaustion when we get round to half term and holidays. I have spent many sleepless nights feeling guilty that we haven't given more opportunity to 'Bob' in the extra curriculum stakes and any cracks in my parenting skills would identify that my ability to become a 'Super Mum' had 'Super'd' off!</div>
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Like many Mum's, I would read lots of women's magazines with an ideological notion of 'yummy mummies', pristine homes with a distinctive chateau farmhouse look about it, vibrant <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="512289bb-45aa-4a2a-8be4-e68c88ba5f51" id="ce31c6fa-4f23-4f57-9f83-0f6396bf9b13">colours</span> with a <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="512289bb-45aa-4a2a-8be4-e68c88ba5f51" id="18b8a01e-71fe-4aee-9a7d-f107243f399f">scandi</span> twist to the playroom and rather delightful cupcakes whipped up in a trice! In reality, I would gaze around at my Lego covered living room floor, the mound of washing on the kitchen floor, the breakfast pots stacked above the dishwasher and not in it! A house that has half finished renovations, and furniture that has seen better days.</div>
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In my order to regain some control, anything that could be put into one of those pretty printed boxes was! Mr Autynary seems to think I have OCD because the box mountain is getting bigger and if I carry on he thinks that it will be on par with Hadrian's Wall. 'Bob', by the way, is completely oblivious to all this!</div>
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When 'Lil' was little I was working, but we always made the most of the holiday/weekend time. We would do brunch, go girly shopping, Oooo and Ahhh over shiny, sparkly trinkets and have lots of film time. You would have thought that with the arrival of 'Bob' we could balance out our social activity which would include Mr Autynary <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="fe3cfc7c-6421-4e16-9853-033b9cee94e9" id="309d6266-d58a-4695-8041-6a7f3a5cae8f"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="55ffe6ad-c8c0-468e-8c97-7e06bf5f1062" id="ac3cd535-53cc-47d9-b267-9e18f2c88de7"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="8f2a1b7d-bbc2-4232-95c8-8bd94d139676" id="8eb3a149-59f1-413c-98e5-201cd6d610d1">too</span></span></span> (bless him he did feel left out). In hindsight, a screaming toddler arching his back and pushing <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b1eedb8f-d13f-4f4e-88cd-242f7747a88e" id="dcf50daf-9b6e-49d9-89dc-50a3ef093f71"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="82053963-11c8-462a-bfa7-d83cc7ffb98c" id="a6e9f96b-c057-427c-96e1-2d5ed506a48b">himself</span></span> out of the stroller was a really good clue that things were not going to be that easy but bless us we did persevere.</div>
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That sums us up 'perseverance'! Well, I'm totally exhausted and a little bit miffed! I try not to let these kinds of emotions railroad me, but sometimes they just come steaming on in there. With every half term holiday I know exactly what is going to happen; Our 'Bob' will set up the PC for the long haul, freshly laundered lounge wear becomes the norm and with waitress service what more could a young man ask for. I'm tired now of the on-going battle to just get him out the front door, I'm finding the anxiety is shifting on to me whilst he is as happy as a sandboy. And at the end of the day I'm not sure who I am more cross with, autism or me! Have I survived the half term? I think on this occasion anxiety wins hands down!</div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-9675012834177168222014-02-11T15:12:00.000-08:002014-02-11T15:12:07.358-08:00Not forgetting ADHD...... <div style="text-align: justify;">
When I think of Autism and ADHD I have this vision of two <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="976abc6a-389c-43d1-bf04-fb12a7149a8f" id="2d514951-9d98-4ca9-b0d2-014e7c76bae4">ginormous</span> <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="976abc6a-389c-43d1-bf04-fb12a7149a8f" id="4d28d950-db8c-46ac-a788-b111ad5c6a2a">A's</span> having fisticuffs and imagine that this is what it's like for our 'Bob' internally. The two have some similar traits which often can lead to some confusion in diagnosis, but in 'Bob's case these two stood together like regimented soldiers! Shoulder to shoulder!</div>
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Until 'Bob' was actually diagnosed by the child psychiatrist with ADHD, I seriously thought our life was a journey that we were just going to have to walk down without any help. I'll never forget the day after 'Bob's ASD diagnosis, we were given a website address, a 'thanks for coming along' and a virtual shove out the door, we didn't even get a leaflet! We just managed, what else were we to do. Just managing his day, responding to his <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="7f53712d-b463-496c-9330-76ce0b3c0ea7" id="33b970b8-ac8f-49bb-9ad1-6decfebd13a5">behaviour</span>, fighting for support, sitting in the bathroom for hours due to his bowel problems, and always wearing trainers because I was never too sure when he was going to scarper, well quite frankly I was so incredibly tired! </div>
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There wasn't much fight left, and seriously I wondered how long I could carry on. When my gorgeous little nine year old boy refused to go to school and then announced to Mr Autynary and I he wanted to be dead, I got my second wind. Mortified that my child was talking about suicide, and death, and not wanting to be in this world was upsetting, but even more cutting was the thought that no amount of love we gave him would soothe the pain he quite clearly was experiencing. An internal pain that he had no idea what it was, where it came from, how to get rid of it, or how to describe it!</div>
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Petrified that 'Bob's unpredictability and no understanding of consequence would lead him to take his own life, I insisted an immediate appointment with the GP. I know we were lucky and not everyone experiences such a speedy response, but we managed to get a CAMHS appointment within the week. The trigger for 'Bob's anxiety was quickly identified, constant change of teaching staff and a rather dreadful support teacher, and once addressed <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="78298557-c623-417b-965f-abdcee58a64a" id="23ab8fe0-94ad-4af1-b34f-c558b6242f80">with</span> school we were able to make necessary changes. Thank god for the summer holidays!</div>
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The road was long, and there were lots of assessments, but when the psychiatrist explained that 'Bob' did in fact have ADHD as well as high functioning autism I was confused. 'Bob' wasn't jumping out of windows, or clambering out of moving vehicles, running around in circles constantly, or kicking the place in! How shallow my stereotypical opinion was about ADHD. </div>
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Everyone was surprised! It turns out I wasn't the only one with that fixed opinion either. Slowly, over time and with a lot of negotiation and tests, 'Bob' was put on ADHD medication. It wasn't our first choice and we resisted for well over a year before agreeing, but 'Bob' was struggling at school. He couldn't focus, was distracted so easily, quite argumentative and became this tight little coil ready to explode! </div>
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I wouldn't go as far as to say it worked miracles because that definitely would be an understatement, but it did what it said on the tin, and more importantly 'Bob' was able to access the national curriculum. He didn't spend days heightened on anxiety or so stressful that literally his and our lives seemed to just stop! We've got used to living with our mate ADHD, we can put him asleep with a little white tablet for most of the day and respect him when he's not. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVTaJrw0RIGIaYA1alvEOxn9BUUtkBGf_HKPA6yxyqVksgD4t3gQwneBLJ0cl61P5pyrFsI9TWa5aeGTT_8hHCth2lvbDG4AW4n3_KX3bkdZNi6B3xznORzUSKjZO92T4zztCVGZshzrXD/s1600/5883417433_d0eca398c7_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVTaJrw0RIGIaYA1alvEOxn9BUUtkBGf_HKPA6yxyqVksgD4t3gQwneBLJ0cl61P5pyrFsI9TWa5aeGTT_8hHCth2lvbDG4AW4n3_KX3bkdZNi6B3xznORzUSKjZO92T4zztCVGZshzrXD/s1600/5883417433_d0eca398c7_z.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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At the moment ADHD and Autism are marching to the same tune, and 'Bob' understands the importance of his medication (he even reminds me). 'Bob' can identify now when his medication is wearing off and if a situation is not working for him, well, we get to know about it before an emotional tsunami takes place. We don't know what is going to happen; I hear varying stories about ADHD and possible cures. What I do know is ADHD doesn't have us 'Bob' has ADHD in more ways than one!</div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-29798628532674043822014-01-31T03:34:00.000-08:002017-01-14T13:49:27.826-08:00And the journey begins.....<div style="text-align: justify;">
There is this incredible difference between thinking about
something and it actually happening.
I’ve been preparing myself mentally for our ‘Bob’s transition from what
seems an age. Still struggling to come
to terms that my little man is now standing taller than I, and his shoe size is
bigger than Mr Autynary’s! A couple of
things have happened in the last couple of months, which give us just a snifter
of what is to come.</div>
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As many parents in the UK will be familiar with when our
little angels or terror teens, whichever is your preference, enter Year 10
there is a rush to prepare them for the ‘outside’ world. An experience, hopefully in a field of work
they are interested in pursuing when the leave education. I’m sure there are many of you out there know
that when you rush something quite often there can be oversights. So when Mr Autynary and I trundled off last November
to the Year 10 work experience parents evening full of hope and <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b7bc6387-4c82-46d8-9e3c-b699a838326e" id="b3baa53a-3507-41b9-9a8b-c115c4ab16b9">exciting</span>
thoughts for our boy, what we didn’t <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b7bc6387-4c82-46d8-9e3c-b699a838326e" id="1dad949d-92d8-40a9-a59b-eeffd0157d51">realise</span> was the difficulty he would
experience in connecting with those typical jobs offered for work experience
placements. After the event we both knew
that the information given did not fill us with the reassurances we needed to
feel comfortable that ‘Bob’ would find this process accessible. Shuffling down the queue, and it was quite
clear we weren’t the only ones feeling that way. Conscious that the person
we needed to speak to would identify us as parents of a child with ‘special needs’! So uncomfortable was that turn to the right! </div>
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Our ‘Bob’ was dead set on trying to find his placement
within Manchester Airport, he had it fixed in his mind and that this is where he
wanted to go and there really was no backup plan. There was plenty of confusion about the whole
process, which just compounded all his anxieties. There was an expectation that the students should
take the lead and have that experience of sourcing placement, researching contact
information, putting together their CV and talking to potential placement employers.
For ‘Bob’ that was just not going to
happen, and he had convinced himself that it was up to me and Mr Autynary! If you ask him about himself or ask him to
make a decision, his response will be</div>
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“Speak to her”, meaning
me!</div>
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‘Bob’ does not <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="48047a8a-bc07-4995-84c5-6d39bc55dc15" id="209c33fa-17ed-4022-a2bc-c1c589b1bff8">favour</span> conversation face to face, so how on
earth am I going to get him to talk to someone on the phone! Well, it didn’t happen, I can tell you, flat
refusal! The moment I raised the issue,
he got into an almighty meltdown and shut down.
It would take days before we could even slip it into conversation, and
with the constant fear that we would upset him we only manage this when he was
in really good spirits.<br />
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I knew it was up to me to start this ball rolling, I’d
already informed school, we were having difficulties, but we still felt that
although they were talking to ‘Bob’ about it in school, there was an
expectation that he had to complete this himself. It’s
the ‘doing’ bit that was the problem and it was practical help we needed.</div>
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Taking the bull by the proverbial horns, I spoke to the work
experience placement officer at the Airport.
She was a nice enough woman, somewhat <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="5ad4677f-12d1-42b9-b402-39c05a41e560" id="ec11e655-c719-4abe-9586-a12eb5e90d01">patronising</span> and after asking me
where we lived and what school ‘Bob’ went to <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="5ad4677f-12d1-42b9-b402-39c05a41e560" id="dcc2f045-126d-4c6e-9511-9c92e2ecb800">informed</span> me that we didn’t meet
the Airport’s criteria because we were out of their catchment area. Interestingly enough, she then followed this
through with informing me about the criteria of other employers, and typically
they would insist on speaking to the young person concerned. By this point my defensive hackles were up,
and I had to explain that ‘Bob’ was on the autistic spectrum, to which she said
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“Well, you have to say that one in the first place!” “You
still don’t meet our criteria, though!” and “Well employers will still need to
speak to the young person!”</div>
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<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="edf29845-02e8-491a-8c5d-679b252ad3fb" id="e1e54176-7fcc-46c3-b310-6f974ec37b97">Ya’don’t</span> say Sherlock!!
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By this point I am livid and with desperation started flying
off messages to people I knew who might be sympathetic and help! Then I’m outraged, if I’m struggling how many
other parents of young people with Asperger’s or high functioning autism are
having the same difficulties. When you
actually start to strip back the logistics, support for the young person and
risk assessment of the individual needs, the process takes on a different
dimension. One which I think has been overlooked!</div>
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How many parents out there in desperation for their children
to experience the same journey like their peers, are relying on taking them to
their own place of work, or family or friends!
Even more upsetting how many children are left behind at school?</div>
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‘Bob’ is now <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="6bc392f7-73ef-422c-984e-7dd198e837a7" id="16d20a61-f3b7-42a8-8ad5-e0c570ac2336">resided</span> to the fact that there is no hope! I have had some contact from great supporters,
but yet nothing has been forthcoming, and <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ff2332aa-e13a-4738-9093-9aa4804a9c30" id="69948eae-cc8d-4339-962d-2d606493e97d">conscious he</span> won’t be left behind <u>I’m</u>
<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ff2332aa-e13a-4738-9093-9aa4804a9c30" id="a3c668eb-80a5-4101-b4f3-07543d4553fc">resided</span> to the fact that he will have to come with me and experience one week
working as a volunteer! Not exactly the
<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="24b84f08-bcdf-4377-bb0d-34a4ab1b54f6" id="e3186fb3-dd3f-473b-9575-e4ca6d2b7202">industry our</span> ‘Bob’ wants to work <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="24b84f08-bcdf-4377-bb0d-34a4ab1b54f6" id="c5c4b8ca-e006-4e5f-9d46-6b69ca7a2eb3">in</span> when he leaves school, but if it means he
will experience the process of going to work and a working environment then we
can tick this off. Worryingly though
how many young people with autism do just that, volunteer, because there are not the
employment options out there! Food for
thought.</div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-25179492645501624712014-01-20T13:26:00.002-08:002014-01-20T13:26:46.554-08:00The Dentist!<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I don't know about you, but I am absolutely petrified of the
dentists! I'm from a generation that was frog marched to see the school dentist
at the local clinic, thrust into a cold dental chair, filings and extractions
without numbing, and the unnecessary view of hairy nostrils! So I
promised myself I would not put my children through that ordeal.<o:p></o:p><br />
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From our 'Bob' being little I used to take
him with me to my dental appointments, I wanted to<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>acclimatize him to the experience
not scare the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="728b8314-f854-4be1-b4ef-6631c83361e4" id="938fa5fd-0178-4f80-ad54-25803780b2e1"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="75b8a3da-ad22-400a-ba9a-41f55529d703" id="c1094663-6008-4386-8eb5-2a873a9687fb">ebby</span></span> <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="728b8314-f854-4be1-b4ef-6631c83361e4" id="f578b346-bce9-4441-b0bf-cbc25380db3e"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="75b8a3da-ad22-400a-ba9a-41f55529d703" id="9d917b1c-8699-4087-bac4-c92388b466ea">jebbies</span></span> out
of him, so took the softly softly approach and braved it out myself. It
had worked with his sister so in my naivety thought it 'worked for one it will
work for the other one'. How far from the truth could it have got.
Unaware at this stage about autism and ADHD, just thought he was being a
'little monkey' when he refused to open his mouth for the dentist or the time
when he bite his finger. Well, I must say he's a dentist and should have
known better than flaunt a digit near a four year old<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>child's mouth! We just
about managed to get him there once a year, and that was<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>agonizing; The screams, the
blatant refusal, the chasing round the surgery and trying to coax him out from
under the dentist's desk! It got to a point when he used to check his
teeth whilst he was upside down on my lap on a swivel chair! And when the
old dentist decided to retire, OMG!<o:p></o:p></div>
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There were moments in time that the least
of my worries was a trip to the dentist and I will hold my hands up we didn't
necessarily meet our checkup dates! After our 'Bob's diagnosis, our lives
levelled out and an acceptance that it was never going to be quite how you had
dreamed of and you would just have to get on with it. The 'normality' of
life had to find its place in the new version of ours, so visits to the dentist
had to be dealt with head on along with everything else.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Dreading having THAT conversation where
you actually have to say out loud, "He has high functioning autism.."
and wait for the "Oh right.." followed by an awkward silence.
Assuming you were going to have to take the lead on this and partake with
all that autistic information you had soaked up like a sponge; Sharing
suggested strategies, website addresses and offering leaflets that you had to
do so many other times before with professionals was at the forefront of your mind!<o:p></o:p></div>
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How refreshing to hear " OK, how can
we make 'Bob's visits easier?" "Tell me about his sensory
issues?" "I'll talk to 'Bob' about everything we will be doing and
show him the equipment and we take it all at his pace!" Had I found
an angel? Was this a fluke? Am I hearing right? <o:p></o:p></div>
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True to his word our dentist took time out
to get to know our 'Bob', built up trust and went at his pace. There were
the odd times when we had some glitches but the difference was we were working
together. Our 'Bob's dentist shows him on his high tech screen his
x-rayed teeth, explains the dark patches and the light patches, why he has
to have the treatment and if he didn't what the outcome would be. When he
struggled with his first extraction and the huge needle used for numbing, the
fact it took two appointments to actually complete the procedure did not faze
the dentist at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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After many years struggling to understand
why my children had teeth difficulties, our new dentist was the one who
identified that 'Bob' and his sister had a genetic abnormality of the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>tooth<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>enamel, and it had nothing to do with
their dental care. Slight relief after 'Bob' spent years chewing his
toothbrush and eating toothpaste, that his brushing skills weren't too bad!
And it's amazing how effective a free mini toothpaste tube can be on our
morning teeth cleaning routine. Though I sometimes wonder if it's
the buzz he gets as he whips it from the box on the window sill as we make our
hasty exit from the surgery!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Our recent extraction last Friday was
another successful trip. Our 'Bob'<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="840c6453-d5a7-42b9-94cf-0c88b11797ec" id="e2a6548b-21ea-4ac0-8f82-1b5f5504b992"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="54ccce6d-6104-43fa-8f31-8b49bc3ba827" id="015e6634-caca-43a5-8547-f524f4f8a4a7">talks</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>the hind legs off a donkey, but the
dentist seems to have the patience of a saint; he's also quite firm with 'Bob'
too, and you have to be sometimes or 'Bob' will just go off on a tangent and
completely railroad you. It's remarkable how 'Bob' can change the subject
back to the flight path of the new Dreamliner, and how on earth you can
make the comparison between it's wind speed and how quickly you can remove a
tooth beggars belief!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
You can so understand how parents on
finding remarkable professionals just want to spirit them away, and don't want
them to move on. Investments have been made in those relationships, and
it makes a huge difference in the daily battles; one less can lighten the load
so much for families. Our dentist might not be everyone's cup of tea, and
there is nothing 'magical' about his manner, but if you could bottle his
attitude and approach carry it around with you, sprinkle the fairy dust on all
the professionals you meet, what a slightly less stressful life we would all
lead!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-69911891221756473102014-01-07T05:45:00.002-08:002014-01-07T15:35:23.479-08:00The Weather Station<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Strange analogy comparing a Weather Station and Autism but it is
amazing what you think about when normal routine has been broken. Our
'Bob' had requested a super duper wireless Weather Station for Christmas and
the indoor unit has been placed on draws behind the sofa. So you can
imagine whilst we have had such dreadful wind and rain we have all been
obsessed with checking the data. Our 'Bob' has been using it in
conjunction with his real time flight simulator, Mr Autynary concerned
that the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="7298f9e9-59e8-4a68-a208-fc8305b962dc" id="cf570100-a952-465a-97bb-1824f2b7588c"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="10e59d57-906b-4031-ae9e-ba2a0d2939eb" id="3e92f5a5-72dd-4312-896f-55c71b061479">gusts</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>won't take out the new roof, and
I who whilst in a seasonal reflective mood drew my attention to the data
titles and found myself making those comparisons with ASD.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
The constant is the date and time; that's
Autism. It will always be there! But like time management we
<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="3fc47d0f-15c6-42cb-ab2f-d14c8d62b30e" id="67b8dd28-70e3-4b78-b8ac-c4dc5d59b216">strategize</span> and plan to manage autism so it doesn't control us. And when
you lose the momentum of time management/autism you can feel tired, out of control,
confused and nothing makes sense. The balls have to drop sometime like
the <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="2e197999-7c44-466f-986f-8b6b54148fca" id="991ffa57-fb60-424c-999f-ea856009f944">qurkism</span> that is<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>a leap
year! We make reasonable adjustments in our lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipt9oCfYSqylnqSQsdlKDCu3QAkY8_ZpX__2f-KPjOgqULfNu3WJmkRrNz3m0mbSrtZiiehW3tYeQQ-Tz8oTbnZBzU7eY2ub2iY-BZaNqgYmkXsrFGeLiLO5N4enPW2PFkxC60xayQHsGQ/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipt9oCfYSqylnqSQsdlKDCu3QAkY8_ZpX__2f-KPjOgqULfNu3WJmkRrNz3m0mbSrtZiiehW3tYeQQ-Tz8oTbnZBzU7eY2ub2iY-BZaNqgYmkXsrFGeLiLO5N4enPW2PFkxC60xayQHsGQ/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a>Inside data reflects humidity and
temperature, these are variable but can be controlled. As is the
core of an autistic persons temperament and judgement not everyone is the same,
and with many environmental changes can impact mood, tolerance and sensitivity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Outside data, again reflects<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>humidity and temperature, variable
association but this one we certainly don't have any control over at all.
I<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="46b900f3-7b70-4bf0-951d-30392bfeed38" id="c593b28e-0bc7-46cb-a607-8c2aef62fc65"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="beede9ac-1a81-4866-875c-085ec0ec80bb" id="b06f0eac-b483-4654-b4cc-aeed900cbe19">realised</span></span> (I do that
quite a lot! Epiphanies happen to me all the time I'm surprised they don't put
me in a darken room! ) <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9a5251a0-e50b-4b01-ad79-589456e4f8ca" id="6c54f50c-aecf-4356-af23-dc056a84a2cc"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="1055eb59-fcff-4351-a57a-5b5d6e78acc3" id="7393ec17-f805-48e0-80ee-e06f1d29652f">that</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>this
is another stark<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9a5251a0-e50b-4b01-ad79-589456e4f8ca" id="715075ed-1b3f-4378-bb9f-5345e3586ac3"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="1055eb59-fcff-4351-a57a-5b5d6e78acc3" id="c58451b9-3b01-4966-8a8a-195866a06296">realisation</span></span> of
the world. We can't control the World, <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="97a1edfd-426d-4396-a4e5-526bef272f1d" id="8bdc43a3-0a76-4b9e-ac2e-cb03da8c5903"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="4cbbd947-7f4f-483e-9fbf-e62fb51bfb01" id="f08da8fb-b103-4bc3-96a2-5472be81fa35">it's</span></span> perception and the people in it. We can influence but that's not enough. It may be my world is so consumed with all things autistic that you
could present me with a baked bean can and I could find something autism related
with it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
And there is this beautiful<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9845c186-ab89-44cf-b271-262a7a425f17" id="5d39ffc8-d6e5-4a40-9895-513c0896d176">visualisation</span> of the outside
world; big sun; clouds; rain; snow. Something which would have had
vibrant<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="60b79647-e717-4128-af30-b71ffaa1475e" id="f54a8134-e913-4bb9-92c8-3763e92a5664">colours</span> on our
'Bob's visual timetable. The view into the vast entity that is The World!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Here comes the Pressure! Now don't get me
started on this one. We all experience this cooking pot. I am
amazed though how our 'Bob' can keep his rattling up on high for such long
periods. It does worry me that holding on to such stress will have on his
physical being never mind his mental state. There is a Star Trek quote
"I<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c3f1f2a2-5b59-4bd2-af42-b2682da95ec1" id="138c7143-08ac-4c93-bf3d-2350674ae359">canna</span> hold her much
longer Captain she's<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c3f1f2a2-5b59-4bd2-af42-b2682da95ec1" id="18fa5aa4-dd4e-40e2-bd04-44e24ff75876">gonna</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>blow!" **think Hollywood
Scottish accent** And I have this nightmare I will find him
collapsed somewhere.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
By the time I've got to the bottom of the
screen I'm exhausted which fits in nicely with wind speed and rainfall.
Life can be an absolute wash, or an almighty tornado hellbent on wrecking
a path through your life, or it can be limpid, serene and tolerant. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
We accept the information from the Weather
Station as given, it's part of nature. Yes, we moan about it but all told
we do venture into the darkest of storms, sunniest of days and no harm comes to
us (Wellies and Sunscreen are required). Brave individuals will chase the
storms and incredible Explorers venturer to the coldest parts of the world with
some uncertainty and risk but they still go there. Governments invest in
the Weather it brings so much to this world; Research and Development,
Environmental rescue and support. Why can't the world just accept Autism as a
given it's part of nature, it's part of our 'Bob' and so many other Children
& Adults on the spectrum. Why then can't the Government invest more in our
'part of nature'? Why can't the world<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f728ab68-d0fc-4a37-8151-84cbd1039229" id="75eb5fa5-14e2-474a-8cb1-3ce681963613">just
accept</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Autism is not going
anywhere and work with us not against us! Our 'Bob' is an ASSET and he IS worthy of investment too!</div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-20142744645227224482013-12-28T13:07:00.001-08:002013-12-28T13:07:24.181-08:00And A Happy New Year To You Too.....<br />
<div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
It's that time of year again where we all sit back and reflect on the years successes's and failures, those moments of personal reflection, the if <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="615f1211-5f72-42b4-bc13-5a904c4a0c2e" id="4c9e21c8-fbef-4069-bb76-9ed13bdd9338">onlys</span> and what <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="615f1211-5f72-42b4-bc13-5a904c4a0c2e" id="e970ec23-74e1-49d6-a078-7160e8983320">ifs</span>, and the rush of steely determination not to let it happen again next year. The added pressure we put upon ourselves to set some resolutions, just because we feel we ought to! And the prospect of struggling to achieve them because January is probably one of the nastiest of all months in the year for everything; weather, lack of money and the deprivation of all things warming and comforting because you're on a diet! It's one of those times that I feel the encapsulation of our 'Bob's autistic world would be a much better place!<br />
<br />
His only concern is to ensure the creation of another virtual airline, and the offering of sustenance because he can't possibly leave the hub of all activity i.e. The PC! Mr Autynary is very much the same mindset, no looking back (because it's already happened), no self reflection (because we just don't do that inward looking thing) and certainly no resolutions we couldn't possibly make a decision which one!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
This one I know for sure, I'm on my own! That oh so familiar saying "If you told me that this time last year I wouldn't have believed you...." is very firmly in my mind at the moment because this last year has been filled with extraordinary events and life changing decisions. I've <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="3d6648ba-223d-4ca9-9635-7fbed248349c" id="e7bc8ae7-4f0d-4c25-aa31-5058a1e2b595"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="bf32b262-2eb0-4a66-9825-9e07ce50f4b9" id="bda3eda2-79e9-45cd-8582-0d26cff63a04">shoved</span></span> myself over 'that invisible line', internally kicked and screamed out of my comfort zone and cried my way out of uncertainty. I have rekindled my relationship with tenacity and have enjoyed inviting in self esteem along for the ride. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDXqAfk31FtuJ3Horzsb2QehJYd12K2zGeBm4CmZAwtcWBMIwXuWSVpsfbwXLWFqYRkO3jH8XCb-Y77ELvOppc0OruczXXJENQa9jCkgB1q2gps3Is4mZYodGyEMsfLIhMuFru6L-lC6ES/s1600/Bbjb1W3CQAA-nTC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDXqAfk31FtuJ3Horzsb2QehJYd12K2zGeBm4CmZAwtcWBMIwXuWSVpsfbwXLWFqYRkO3jH8XCb-Y77ELvOppc0OruczXXJENQa9jCkgB1q2gps3Is4mZYodGyEMsfLIhMuFru6L-lC6ES/s320/Bbjb1W3CQAA-nTC.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
Christmas has been and gone, and we have survived! Just! Nothing changes for us at Christmas the routine stays the same year in year out, albeit we were a little late this year getting stuff <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="eaabd8d0-db94-4884-be72-db8c134fceb2" id="2dd6a545-d932-42a1-b5ea-8894504af357"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="bd59ef5e-a25f-45fb-a7b9-57fba80208a4" id="c6dbcc88-02e6-407d-b70a-a6285b075316">organised</span></span> due to the renovations. Our 'Bob' managed to eat his soup at the dinner table Christmas day but the plate of food had to be eaten in another room! Our 'Bob's presents were as instructed and if I had diverted from the list I certainly would have expected an almighty meltdown, it saves anxiety all round if we just play by his rules during the festive season.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.virginmedia.com/images/favourite-christmas-specials-morecambe-and-wise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.virginmedia.com/images/favourite-christmas-specials-morecambe-and-wise.jpg" width="232" /></a>We have entered 'no man's land', <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="384bfa97-f745-4d5d-9591-7dca2f3b9cb8" id="92bfb30a-1e03-4729-b062-ba96cdbd228d"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="768c8359-2112-427d-b54d-352228df5f46" id="a7ec06dc-413c-44c7-abb1-66d56b2b2bf5">y'know</span></span> the time between Christmas and New Year which gets lost in overindulgence, some rather ancient clips of a Morecombe and Wise Christmas special and re-runs of all the Christmas films ever made! Throw in Kirstie's vintage Christmas crafts and everything grinds to a halt. There is a moment in time where I think is this my 'Black Dog' returning or is this just Christmas anti-climax. It's been such a long time since I have experienced 'ordinary' or 'normal' I couldn't possibly work it out. I know that bloody 'dog' is loitering somewhere in the background and if I'm not careful will push its way through the back door. Anybody who has suffered or is suffering from depression will know that there is always a possibility of it <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="7eabdad3-eb7f-46b1-a74a-e9ad75bd639b" id="7beb934b-4c16-4ca1-a6fe-2278f82d163d"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="1b17b8e5-0a4c-4032-ac7b-b02c57d49870" id="b733d2f1-5959-4756-857f-bd406e27eed3">sneaking</span></span> in when you least expect it; Like an uninvited guest who just doesn't pick up the clues to leave! Well it's not invited to this party!<br />
<br />
<br />
Where are we going to go next? Who the hell knows! 2014 is holding surprises and a lot of hard work but I say 'Bring It On!' What I have learnt from last year is to go with it, hold on, it might be a white knuckle ride in parts, but just hold on! There is a plan loosely lodged somewhere in the <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="2c422753-22b4-4d21-ada9-f928e5252a50" id="6d03b532-5331-45fb-b437-5142296ef27a"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="77320226-0f5b-403e-8a8f-232eb6d7c4cc" id="dae78451-090e-4ad5-b685-b5e57adea6a8">grey</span></span> matter because we have to have a routine but personally I haven't set anything in stone. What I will say is that I am not going to close any door until I have fully investigated the opportunities. I have to keep reminding myself that it's OK to have a look, you are not committing yourself to anything. I have choices and I am the one who will have the final say!! <br />
<br />
And my message for the New Year; Acknowledge 2013 and respect all that happened, and then <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="4ed7e0f5-1934-4975-97ad-61a5c8de9283" id="a1a9da08-b259-4c8b-9765-332fe72f65d8">bloomin</span>' hold on tight for 2014! Don't ignore possibilities or opportunities no matter how scary they feel! And in time of doubt or upset remember there are people out there who will support and comfort just know it's OK to reach out.<br />
<br />
To you all a very, very sincere Happy New Year and a wish that 2014 will be a year of prosperity, happiness, hope and loads of laughs XXX<br />
<br />
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-84738252653612921492013-12-09T15:51:00.000-08:002013-12-09T15:51:34.820-08:00It Wasn't Me! The Reality of living with Invisible Vulnerability.<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
It's taken me two weeks to write this. Honestly I have been
incredibly busy working in my Parents Forum/Sportism capacity, spending time
trying to make sense of the SEN Code of Practice Children and Families Bill and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="36b981fa-925e-417d-bbf3-066d52f86a16" id="627b9cf4-a64f-4690-a4c0-28ce4f9cef6e">organising</span> a children's Xmas
party. Though the thought of writing this particular blog would mean I would
have to face the stomach churning fear I have for my son's future again. The<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="9512bc93-59c6-47aa-a5e9-36344a11be5e" id="72d9cc93-4429-4847-a3e4-3b5663db6296">realisation</span> that no amount of
prior preparation and planning, reassurance and creating a shed load of life
rules can prevent the overwhelming urge he gets to do some downright stupid,
unpredictable, damaging, dangerous, illegal (Oh yes you heard me correctly and
I will say it again), ILLEGAL things. This<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><u>is</u><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b><i>Invisible Vulnerability<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></i></b>at its best and I have had the
corker of all corkers. Find me a hill top because I really want to
scream!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
It's difficult to explain to most people
about the invisible vulnerability of children on the spectrum, and in
particular for those children on the higher end who outwardly look like
ordinary children in ordinary houses on an ordinary street anywhere in the
world! I will try to explain about our 'Bob' and his latest all mighty
'this is the best one yet' stunt!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Two weeks ago I got the most
unpleasant surprise I have had for a while. The sheer shock made me feel
incredibly sick and for a split second lost the ability to make sound judgement
or rationale. The Postman usually arrives around 10.30am, we don't get a
lot of mail because everything is usually fired off electronically these days
so it's quite a novelty to get some. The usual 'Occupier' 'Homeowner'
mail on the doormat along with a letter from Tesco Banking. Now normally
I would throw something like this in the paper bin because it's usually junk.
Thank goodness I didn't!!! There before me was a letter asking me
for more information for my credit card application. WHAT credit card
application???? I'm a stay at home mum/carer, what the.... You can imagine it
can't you I'm pacing the kitchen, reading this letter again just to make sure
I've got it correctly. I am so mad and the who, what, where, when is
going through my head. Instant reaction and I'm on the phone dialling the
0845 number, cursing that one too because it will cost me a fortune! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Blooming annoying! I get through to a
Customer Service Operator, take a deep breath and go through the story.
I'm put on hold, waiting to be put through to the Fraud Department.
No joy there, nobody is answering so I leave a message. I'm told
someone will get back to me the same day. So I wait. Nothing. I try again
before going<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="e591617d-4343-4554-95b0-1dedd105ed9e" id="2581b260-7703-45bd-b2e4-e027c8f2fed7">for</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>our 'Bob' but by this time I've had
several cups of tea and thought about it. I remember two weeks earlier
having one of those dismissive conversations with 'Bob' about the Sainsburys
credit card which gives you Nectar points. 'Bob' was doing a good job putting
his case forward for Mr Autynary and myself to get one, which obviously we
swiftly declined. I didn't think any more of it, that was until that day.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
'BOB'! What had he done now? Wait till I
get him in the car! I'm thinking all this on the drive to school, and for one
shocking moment I can't remember how I drove a quarter of a mile down the road
because I'm head chunnering. Amongst a sea of mauve I see 'Bob' making
his way to the car, now I know I have to be careful because one slight
whiff he's been rumbled I will not get any ownership from him at all. So
there I am diplomatically interrogating 'Bob'.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"Is there anything you need to tell
me about Tesco Banking?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="f78fe4df-601d-4496-891e-9965fc8e203d" id="15c335a4-c797-4617-9029-e25b67f177d5">Noooo</span>" "What you talking
about?" a rather shifty answer and a rather puce looking teenager.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
And with slight exaggeration<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"I have spoken to the Fraud
Department of Tesco Banking about an online application for a credit card which
I have no idea about or who's applied in my name, do know anything about
it?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<b>"Well it wasn't me!"</b> quick
sheepish answer!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"Well the thing is they have the
computer IP address and if I haven't applied for one they are going to pursue
the person who the address belongs too, so if I was you I would tell me what you have been filling in
on the Tesco's website because they are calling me back?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
So I then get an embellished story
about how he thought he was registering on the Tesco's Direct website, and that
he knows not to sign up for things in my name, etc, etc, blah, blah.
And quite frankly that's what it sounded like to me. I knew he had
done it so my mind was now shifted in trying to resolve the issue, and I had
better check with a credit reference agency to double check that I'd not had my
identity cloned or that the little tinker hadn't signed me for HP on a 737
aircraft!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
You can imagine, can't you? I ask
him again if he has done anything I need to be aware of and the answer came
back reassuringly "No!" So why then was I surprised to go through a
similar situation on the following Monday morning with an OPENED Tesco Banking
Savers Account in my name and in a separate envelope a 'Thank you for arranging
a direct debit into your new Savers Account' letter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
By this time I'm furious! Then I had
to stop. The wave of emotion slowly makes its way up through my body and I find
I am staring out of the window in tears. I know deep down that a mist of
Autism and a wave of ADHD have created a difficult situation, a
dangerous situation, a vulnerable situation..... VULNERABLE. I want
to scream and scream and scream. I have to phone up Tesco's Customer
Service yet again with a story which sounds like I've made it up, tricky
decisions to make about having my details be put on a credit fraud list so if
it happens again I have a little red flag over my name. Hoping that they
don't want to prosecute for fraud, or any other law he's broken in the process.
OMG! I would have to tell Mr Autynary, well that would go down in
history as the worse thing possible and it would be ALL my fault. Never
mind 'Stop the World!' I just want to disappear into the ether and I don't want
to come out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I manage to compose myself when I pick
'Bob' up from school and I am quite frank with him. By this point he
really does know the games up and has to admit to everything. I don't get
an apology, lots of explanation as to how it happened and another reassurance
it won't happen again! Somehow I don't think this will be the case and
with all the will in the world and lots of hoping, I don't think 'Bob' can make
that promise either, which is so, so, so sad. I don't think I can ever
get complacent or allow myself the time off<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c1cd6b73-59bf-422d-9022-b2008f2921fa" id="73586e1d-f724-44aa-b52e-3551f4b692f6">from</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>pre-<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="c1cd6b73-59bf-422d-9022-b2008f2921fa" id="8cc29801-40af-40de-9885-6548a8d4731a">epting</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>those predictable or unpredictable
events which are yet to bestow their troubles on our doorstep! <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-488500486653410772013-11-23T07:32:00.002-08:002013-11-23T07:34:41.142-08:00The Accidental Comic!<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
And who said<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="e7446c17-7267-4de6-8bf1-da0ce0fb9c09" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="2780e6ab-eb1a-430e-9ed7-6e52367d0434" grcontextid="Autists:0">Autists</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>don't have any sense of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="0ce9347c-9dbe-49e7-b0f0-594384e9696a" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="2780e6ab-eb1a-430e-9ed7-6e52367d0434" grcontextid="humour:1">humour</span>... Our 'Bob' doesn't set out to
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="d5288be4-6d98-4f2c-b22b-de96639b08a5" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="86a75c60-1382-4bf4-bb03-f5f18116b8b9" grcontextid="be:0">be</span> funny, and he's far from the class clown. I’d like to say he was a prankster
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="d7d1ba83-1b59-4c1b-9ea9-ff5192645155" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="5dada737-3329-46b1-ac48-c22ac5f9d3e4" grcontextid="but:0">but</span> that would mean he planned what he was doing and more often than not it simply
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="72749e16-395f-41b9-b6fc-57e7f38feb4c" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="84e095a0-cb7e-4f4d-bdce-3d5365334aad" grcontextid="happens:0">happens</span>! It can be strangely humorous when it does. I'd like to believe
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="9642776f-b448-4efa-9575-368e59808266" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="29862af5-f2bc-4b35-9b64-5002418ad9fe" grcontextid="that:0">that</span> there is a funny button in his brain which gets switched on in very much
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="7d2e0e8e-ca25-4473-a0b0-f41aadf5d803" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="c46ebbb2-b812-46c8-a83f-5a7ea95c239a" grcontextid="the:0">the</span> same manner as is the compulsion to press the red buttons; There is no plan
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="26171858-0f0b-4697-b1bd-2f0016822b1f" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="878cf11d-7d03-448f-9d20-ffc14f48e0f2" grcontextid="and:0">and</span> it usually occurs without any warm up!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
When I look back he's been doing it most
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="400783b6-5f80-48d3-8d12-286c72bd9876" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="d2d263ec-285c-409b-b395-816e79993719" grcontextid="of:0">of</span> his life and it wasn’t until he was older it became more obvious. <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="d7fffe56-ec17-408e-9649-03b934ab5b2f" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="c76480c6-e855-4fb3-8ce0-f3ad379ec61a" grcontextid="Our:0">Our</span>
'Bob' does love a giggle but his funniest moments <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="c2b7b8cf-d4ed-43d6-a7f5-1302bb1c43ef" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="942b9007-5e21-47e1-a5b9-abe7fe6d45d7" grcontextid="are usually tied:0">are usually tied</span> in with his
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="544ff250-5f60-42af-becd-35da27d33c75" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="51ada1f6-dada-4ebd-aa76-667f6f4ed002" grcontextid="little:0">little</span> 'tinker' trait! The first time an incident caused a memorable
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="f6aa6ac7-6013-4182-b8cd-540af25bdafc" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b46cbb3a-2da0-4ea9-be3a-81b2a0a2e63a" grcontextid="ruckus:0">ruckus</span>, 'Bob' was three years old. I'd received the infamous beckoning
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6b7e57fc-af01-4b82-ace9-7603fe47d275" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="52d26f87-1acb-422a-aee8-974c0db457ac" grcontextid="hand:0">hand</span> from his Nursery Teacher, and off I shuffle to get a parental grilling.
I seriously don't know how she kept her face straight, I'm confronted
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="40b5a46b-0dd1-4c70-8550-a543901d6baa" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="2ca4af06-e045-4141-bbd8-4d354b7a8a5f" grcontextid="with:0">with</span> the statement<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"He's spent most of the day in
Reception!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I'm starting to get somewhat twitchy
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4da75a07-3528-4b60-96bd-6a61054dd6bb" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="27e23269-2bcd-49e6-8ba5-fc2ac9684074" grcontextid="at:0">at</span> this point, and ask<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"So what's he been up to this
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="689c4b38-e04f-44c3-8b03-392fcf5fa4ba" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="15f98a92-77b9-47e9-a41a-bf8e95989e30" grcontextid="time:0">time</span>?" with a slight head<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="5aef406d-c0a6-41fe-b815-2045652e8655" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="15f98a92-77b9-47e9-a41a-bf8e95989e30" grcontextid="cock:1">cock</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>to the right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
"He managed to make the whole
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="cb5941ff-f89d-4290-856d-869f64030147" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="638f1009-7c9d-4af8-aff0-abeb3c7a9cb6" grcontextid="class:0">class</span> cry!" <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Wow! That was an achievement for a
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="48b42455-a12d-4377-a5bb-3518c3cdae00" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="0e589330-5bc4-4a01-baac-6fa1d942b38b" grcontextid="three:0">three</span> year old, Crikey what the hell has he been up to!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
It transpires that my son had a real
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="b295adc1-532f-48ce-94f1-e1785ae7d5e1" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="8ff12533-d1a5-4af3-be6e-9665ced1791d" grcontextid="passion:0">passion</span> for switching the classroom lights on and off, and completely oblivious
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="77bc6715-c29d-4a46-9730-9524667ea267" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="df7dc16c-1980-4031-be59-c9faf53ec0f7" grcontextid="to:0">to</span> the cries of his classmates, and as if that wasn't enough, the CD
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="85ee95fd-3fec-4c06-847a-14c34840d948" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="f2967418-1f4c-4f02-9b0f-4286c6bc4fe6" grcontextid="player:0">player</span> attracted attention too and he kept switching between CD and Radio -
Rock FM it transpires does not go down well with 25 three year olds. Now
I know it wasn't<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="097d6615-3fb2-485c-ab8c-3dc14f38946a" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="11b3e537-40b8-4540-bfa5-a60af06025f2" grcontextid="funny:0">funny</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>for the little ones but how does one
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="ff876a34-b34b-41ce-819f-6ffbe66b4942" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="cc0d7350-47c0-449f-b7ac-085ec69050fb" grcontextid="child:0">child</span> manage to run rings round two Nursery<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Teachers!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Our 'Bob' likes to save the very best for
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6ba4be88-f830-4812-aa6b-5f9e4951b223" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="6d1defa7-9f2d-4252-9338-d1999aa907dd" grcontextid="us:0">us</span>, his nearest and dearest. One year he
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="c4be5900-8fb4-4230-b873-c2783a3ef7c3" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="951af09d-ce9e-47f2-8d06-ea0be22326e7" grcontextid="managed:0">managed</span> to convince my husband that our town must have had an airport and it
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="f17eeccd-0abf-4a9b-9132-d45894db4218" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e915005d-3880-4101-afc0-4e8db469b841" grcontextid="was:0">was</span> located on the nearby golf course and to prove he was right he pulled up a
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="bfc4a3b0-b46b-4745-8125-09243a21a0ee" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e8d6a25d-6ae3-4d37-93b7-adc64fef2b4a" grcontextid="google:0">google</span> maps page and presented my husband with his findings. Mr Autynary wasn’t convinced but ‘Bob’
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4da44fcf-ea14-4bfe-94d0-bdc962090cb3" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="c6bdac67-2981-4c1c-a3f1-e2f356fc7891" grcontextid="presented:0">presented</span> him with the TomTom, and there it was! By this point both of us are on the verge of believing
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="0f124ba0-8de0-4d31-ac9b-c20016e7f65c" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b13e0a30-1d75-4320-bd03-59891a03b667" grcontextid="this:0">this</span> great find. And making a few logical searches on the web soon <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="5c1f77a3-d086-42c3-8eff-8a1bd465ec7e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="ef506749-2253-4838-8d68-e891000b8360" grcontextid="realised:0">realised</span>
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="1ffff066-ab23-42df-9ead-e0acc05f3c9e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="270a8719-cfb3-449a-bddf-be1ec4ddaa44" grcontextid="that:0">that</span> the little tinker had found a WWII map of a nearby American airbase and
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="18c8e5ed-5bf6-4e16-ab24-833e7fe4090a" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="9d6e8048-09fe-4f29-ad72-b0329ef4cdce" grcontextid="had:0">had</span> overlaid the map on google and had edited the TomTom information. He’d been rumbled!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFNIjfGLGIopl9Uk3vhKspXXpSD7OdG4mphg8U0M5FyyUvAjs0379lpemUustqGxr-wwDM2sE46BluPiStkC95U4AaIY2iNE5WfVW_YJmlSRG2mZuYZY2HzjiRIsX08_HwIooNx8UXhm4e/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFNIjfGLGIopl9Uk3vhKspXXpSD7OdG4mphg8U0M5FyyUvAjs0379lpemUustqGxr-wwDM2sE46BluPiStkC95U4AaIY2iNE5WfVW_YJmlSRG2mZuYZY2HzjiRIsX08_HwIooNx8UXhm4e/s1600/download.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
The Selfridges run around was another
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="e58f2ce3-d036-4bb3-a756-626c0f690d92" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="afc9913a-50a7-496b-983f-70dd9188a78a" grcontextid="unpredicted:0">unpredicted</span> moment. ‘Bob’ has a passion
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="811c7e36-0ae7-4668-b174-ff84ae41e7bc" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="d8a25f73-5a35-4bb1-ba62-2e412a2d6486" grcontextid="for:0">for</span> buttons, wires, knobs, anything really that is remotely twiddly. The need to fiddle became so overwhelming one
Christmas, the sight of all the timer controllers in the kitchen department
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="a64e8a3b-35f8-405c-b582-dd7e3396ce1f" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="72154e8a-0727-4c28-b36e-6fc53d033ddb" grcontextid="sent:0">sent</span> him on overload. He managed to run
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="a0899541-7545-43be-a8c1-c2fc69afd56e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="948d4c7a-c9f5-4002-91dd-8d6c9c102e44" grcontextid="around:0">around</span> and synchronize all of said items to go off at exactly the same time!! All we got was an almighty “RUN!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsXpzhX-bfnKjgfFxpLHWaTi2OGj4IIpFKN6yifYzKcZTGZBscN_M5YeayCAGeZ0fcpyX3ICnw336-Gx6rN1rCyPQKvjkOEOe_IPzlf4Ki9y7ryfZOheOZ17O_HBjRyEESV8ieESbmaQPZ/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsXpzhX-bfnKjgfFxpLHWaTi2OGj4IIpFKN6yifYzKcZTGZBscN_M5YeayCAGeZ0fcpyX3ICnw336-Gx6rN1rCyPQKvjkOEOe_IPzlf4Ki9y7ryfZOheOZ17O_HBjRyEESV8ieESbmaQPZ/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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I thought he was just having a monumental meltdown and had decided
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6dc4b91e-2bd0-4221-8ffa-276dfc69287a" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="fca3f261-9bd7-4b0f-9a5a-40a2464a1c14" grcontextid="to:0">to</span> hightail it out of the store. That
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="8e495498-4851-486b-84bd-170fa9b2f033" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="84e54618-0c28-4e7b-8607-f398261dd250" grcontextid="was:0">was</span> until I heard an almighty ripple of timer bells going off!! <o:p></o:p></div>
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You would think the safety of our own home would prevent his
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="02220c0e-1645-4b02-ac1a-c7b8e584772d" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="a50e574a-4f7c-4766-8695-10383a7bdfe2" grcontextid="antics:0">antics</span>. Ha Ha Ha! No! ‘Bob’ had been
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="f15596ce-2344-48fb-9c67-3aef28d0bee0" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="57b111ea-3d62-4619-8a50-9dddf6f7ef60" grcontextid="badgering:0">badgering</span> for a radio station and Mr Autynary decided to give him a transmitter. Not such a good idea. Somehow ‘Bob’ had sussed out how to transmit
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="138a7943-7674-4874-814a-7893c67725c7" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="ef9d065d-c059-4159-b512-377b197a9158" grcontextid="the:0">the</span> dull set tones of Tiffany “I think we’re alone now! And his own version of <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="1c5d33a2-1bd8-4905-b735-e0e0753a5526" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="679b3b75-ddf1-4483-9e2d-4d542801db4a" grcontextid="Neighbourhood:0">Neighbourhood</span>
News right in the middle of an FM Band Radio 4 afternoon broadcast! I wondered
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="194bbcf8-e68a-4f55-a2e5-4e2e092ebee0" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="7575f193-15a2-4b6b-be72-980e2cdb1ded" grcontextid="why:0">why</span> my neighbors opposite was standing outside their home with their arms
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="99d8a8b6-69a7-4f1f-a7b9-0410440ba91d" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b6078a1a-2820-419b-982a-dacc2365effd" grcontextid="crossed:0">crossed</span> and a few disapproving looks!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Household chores don’t escape his comical touch either! Most recently Bob decided to fill the dishwasher
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="7b2ecd91-660c-4bc4-a7b7-6015689ecc26" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="3e1f892a-7db9-4625-9ad8-4316ee632e23" grcontextid="which:0">which</span> was odd in itself because he doesn’t engage in chores! There <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="54883bdb-4be8-4236-a4d2-e557794576c5" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="1fcfc165-39e7-4183-b2e2-3b0b503ea0d7" grcontextid="he was, busy:0">he was, busy</span> as a bee and we generally
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6c2d8137-2102-494c-b904-70036731d5c5" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="9ca7e666-6848-4c8c-81c3-aa8804f5eb5a" grcontextid="thought:0">thought</span> he was making an effort, so we left him to it!, Big mistake, HUGE! Somehow the machine didn't
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="838a2a67-4451-4376-805e-4416397b0897" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="ee7ba297-745e-4c4e-8053-1157bb18d982" grcontextid="get:0">get</span> put on that night and I put it on
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="323bc0d0-d895-499f-bcd8-20f7c7a819ed" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="2fd5c141-1ba8-46ac-95b1-71140f6e14db" grcontextid="first:0">first</span> thing in<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>the morning<span class="apple-converted-space">. W</span>hen<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I got back home after school<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>drop off I am greeted by a sea
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="cf2b05c8-2435-4052-b543-04c40ad349a9" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e92f93ef-9e81-4c72-81ad-3a9dbed20bd4" grcontextid="of:0">of</span> bubbles seeping out of the sides of the dishwasher! They were absolutely
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4aab1503-ec35-4ca9-9ffe-74b913d2ca1e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="af5f02f9-9eff-457d-9799-c66ae090ce44" grcontextid="everywhere:0">everywhere</span>!. Every time<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4a6b61bb-486e-47cc-b9ed-18e1f91d8cde" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e347c5ab-641d-4400-bde3-8fa5f38e43e3" grcontextid="opened:0">opened</span> the door more bubbles appeared. It resembled a Faulty Towers
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="02127308-3a26-49bf-8d89-40abce784d29" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="57230b02-c1c6-435a-8a37-f904d632642f" grcontextid="sketch:0">sketch</span>. It took me hours to clean the
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="54b7350e-57d9-47c9-91fb-3794008efded" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="5ea9e722-840e-4fed-a268-9561075504f6" grcontextid="mess:0">mess</span> up. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZy6faZg5nlEOnw20O8uTPr4vC9XJuennjuvWN6eA28f2wLwkcRq1pMERKGCbSoYc8Q19_CV9aS9hv-DdT8t_ZNRDKrTXjFyG8jDiTe7bcSKBIA_jQ9x70TN15LRBKoOMdcemZHLlDbTe4/s1600/suds2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZy6faZg5nlEOnw20O8uTPr4vC9XJuennjuvWN6eA28f2wLwkcRq1pMERKGCbSoYc8Q19_CV9aS9hv-DdT8t_ZNRDKrTXjFyG8jDiTe7bcSKBIA_jQ9x70TN15LRBKoOMdcemZHLlDbTe4/s320/suds2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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When I picked<span class="apple-converted-space"> him </span>up from school and asked if there
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="11643680-35b6-4173-b992-71e4528e045e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="be409b1f-1de7-4797-bcc7-aedc19cb4994" grcontextid="was:0">was</span> something he wanted to share with me, a little smirk crept over his face <o:p></o:p></div>
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“I wasn't me!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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“ It was the plate with bubbles on!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4e05625f-4f22-4195-a10a-72919ab5caed" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="1d7be878-3c50-4cc2-a99d-c012fdb8269b" grcontextid="What:0">What</span> plate with bubbles on ‘Bob’?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“The one covered in fairy liquid!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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I can only assume that the fragrant green liquid decided to sprout
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="a0f9e0a4-f309-4066-85fc-9132eef06ded" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="8881f84e-2c2a-4cca-a960-f42fb72ef9d0" grcontextid="legs:0">legs</span> and walk itself onto the plate for a bit of a lie down. You may think at this point that ‘Bob’ isn’t
supervised, the comical reality is that he is.
The art of stealth has been well honed! Even though we chuckle and find it amusing it does highlight a more serious point the invisible vulnerability of children and adults with high
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="8e65b703-49da-4e6d-a145-d0b1ca8bb84c" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="cc76e0ce-7149-4e5b-806f-0d2dfa26627d" grcontextid="functioning:0">functioning</span> Autism! Never assume the obvious, and never let them fill your dishwasher!</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-11193155838698725782013-11-19T04:46:00.003-08:002013-11-19T04:46:38.858-08:00Nobody's Perfect!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am thankful this morning for heavier traffic on the road home, it
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="5602b099-973a-47e4-9e8f-88a207d49894" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="667dce24-6722-47f0-9ca0-b68f84deb724" grcontextid="means:0">means</span> I have to take the long way back from school. The radio is on but I don't
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="50931ee3-fa4d-4593-86b4-1a10cb5980a4" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="af51218d-8680-40bd-99a9-f9b5fe656156" grcontextid="hear:0">hear</span> a sound. I'm concentrating on not crying because the guy in the <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6a921ca8-d645-4d3e-9697-2f2a4b4c8367" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="247903fa-caf6-4a90-b926-5f491f06d41a" grcontextid="slow:0">slow</span>
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="80b0a6de-8bae-4053-99fd-484786130e07" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="efd7227e-e53d-4cc9-8716-f05f814a45f4" grcontextid="moving:0">moving</span> lane next to me is staring intently</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">at</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">the car, not too sure whether he thinks he's going to get in a bit of
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="8598619e-1250-44c5-a2ec-30c454bea38c" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e2b08ad0-589a-4ee8-ba6a-774540a3b8fd" grcontextid="car:0">car</span> flirting before the office. Not with this lady your</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="987aa0c5-72df-4ab7-bc96-1e8ad0059ac2" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="25fd4297-30d8-42a6-a488-76d3c45540db" grcontextid="not:0">not</span>! Today I am having my blip! STOP the world, I want to get off
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="250beccf-37d9-46b2-88c1-5b19e123f16b" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="14906b8d-02ae-4e8b-9f29-680f12fd7d78" grcontextid="day:0">day</span>!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don't have them that often but as a mother you rarely have time to
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="51a65462-4ef5-4103-8d1e-d5f261cdb9b8" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="edfc4315-93d3-45e7-b956-bc36585388f1" grcontextid="think:0">think</span> about stuff other than the here and now. Certainly been given food
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="74074d4d-86fe-404a-9a7d-e98ba4b01e23" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="5b5a8b57-4dec-4f8b-b5ca-7ec25c446cfb" grcontextid="for:0">for</span> thought from my family this weekend, and I'm feeling the after effects. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yesterday should have been a very proud Mummy moment. One
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="abd30598-3421-43e1-8993-20e36b91ac33" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="ae6d0520-1989-406b-a0e0-1bc61a93e45b" grcontextid="delightful:0">delightful</span> memory that is locked in time that you find you boast about when
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="1dfaa097-e325-4671-aaf0-fedd0df7d7ff" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="5192e4a4-fd8f-4f88-a090-a703dd1f4fb4" grcontextid="meeting:0">meeting</span> up with people you haven't seen <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="51158980-b849-49f0-80e4-97f31f063c1f" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="5192e4a4-fd8f-4f88-a090-a703dd1f4fb4" grcontextid="for:1">for</span> an age. I may well do that
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="14d34357-4ea1-436d-a2af-35669598100f" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="8f061487-c4a7-483b-a56d-91dbc98fe16d" grcontextid="but:0">but</span> certainly not with the same enthusiasm. You see our 'Bob' was awarded
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6d704a75-5751-46f1-b37e-0e9a0c7d7713" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b0416e55-8009-4d87-9186-65460cdd685d" grcontextid="a:0">a</span> Subject Award for Science at his school's presentation last night. In
Year 9 'Bob' managed to jump from the lowest set to the top set <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="9d89ea5d-bb88-4a6f-87ea-2fc8d213b18a" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="aa80af76-e05f-4819-9e25-897276facd39" grcontextid="in:0">in</span> one year,
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="136e7764-34b7-4f63-8279-0626d479775b" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="66585e83-2ed5-4d6b-8b98-0b9126064469" grcontextid="now:0">now</span> that's an achievement in anyones books but 'Bob', not only on the
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="bd4f368b-8883-42b5-995e-acda337cbbd1" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b6d79055-b7f4-4e73-b944-c7ad0b31d066" grcontextid="spectrum:0">spectrum</span> and ADHD, is Dyslexic. He has come on leaps and bounds but it is
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="de1fcf55-2c58-4936-a314-995a5b9f47dd" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="35b44c70-d515-491f-9849-644d968811b9" grcontextid="always:0">always</span> a contentious issue, and he <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="e30eb41a-bbb2-4a1c-aa49-09fb53a009cb" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="35b44c70-d515-491f-9849-644d968811b9" grcontextid="has already identified:1">has already identified</span> this may stop him
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="7b0fd3c7-0e32-419f-8981-aeab154e8205" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b28f2af4-4eff-4eed-85c6-4c89cfe8676e" grcontextid="from:0">from</span> living his dream of becoming a Pilot. Autism kicks in, ADHD kicks in
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="2da9b59f-e854-439d-9b61-13e011175381" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="282aa525-a1a5-49d4-8df7-3167657b1806" grcontextid="and:0">and</span> the combination does not make for comfortable association. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The school may well have had their arrangements working like a smooth
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="30479cab-df2c-4313-8acf-06775b2c2448" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="77b72069-8743-4bcc-889a-9e62f820f9bc" grcontextid="oiled:0">oiled</span> machine, but for 'Bob' he didn't know what to expect; There wasn't even
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="a1af05fb-61f6-4bd1-b16d-ecd2038ea045" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="77790356-997b-43a7-a9a6-821e346e9881" grcontextid="time:0">time</span> set aside to run through with him what he needed to do before the event,
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="ebb20d5a-c3d0-42c2-bb0f-54bc2a24e630" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="cf153fd1-d0ec-4a43-828e-5320c47b1550" grcontextid="so:0">so</span> he WOULD know what to expect. I felt very let down and all I can say
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="0d1b3c29-f1dd-446b-9690-c91a4dcdc3f7" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b7144498-e73e-42d9-b79c-bd4a8599d775" grcontextid="is:0">is</span> that meeting on Thursday afternoon, well I've added something else to <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6f9bbeb9-93fc-43a3-b780-3a8340cb1f30" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b7144498-e73e-42d9-b79c-bd4a8599d775" grcontextid="my:1">my</span>
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="6f4eac08-c51d-4bfa-9056-ba7f71a404e9" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="acdc3852-a980-4ca1-83fb-902da8bb7405" grcontextid="list:0">list</span> of discussion points.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">And to top it off our 'Bob' also happened to have his appointment for
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="ba0323cb-845b-4602-a891-91094590c8db" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="f17ffb99-b9f6-43ab-9ee5-63287f405144" grcontextid="his:0">his</span> 2nd EEG that morning. The anticipated</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">demand</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">of the day just gripped my Son all
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="df2d5b79-5728-4d4f-b77c-4c1d88d56ef2" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e355e6ac-9656-4282-9844-a941d86b2d64" grcontextid="weekend:0">weekend</span>, physically and mentally. I had</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="408b818d-7d2c-4326-a2c3-96219b7af8b7" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="1f1f0a0f-2040-4f89-8c56-273486124b48" grcontextid="complaints:0">complaints</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">of feeling unwell and headaches. The
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="d0322121-4b46-417a-a029-e0b57aa61109" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="c8a761cd-5c7f-4321-b9b0-127ddff4139a" grcontextid="reluctance:0">reluctance</span> to engage in any external activity fed the anxiety so we just gave
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="09a3897e-45e8-4a28-8d30-55064d221cf7" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="3e77b77d-169d-41e8-b7a6-cd4f32079e83" grcontextid="in:0">in</span> and allowed 'Bob' to become engrossed in his fantasy life on the PC.
The slightest request would trigger an outburst, I have been elbowed,
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="43d4e55e-1eb3-4143-8870-bc836c0036c0" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="0f69b71a-ae2c-4457-8ae8-da741dfa6041" grcontextid="prodded:0">prodded</span> and punched this weekend. <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="da02f517-c09b-4be7-a099-79acf640a330" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="0301697d-603b-49ce-b915-aed9c182e834" grcontextid="My:0">My</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Boy does not normally
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="cefb5d9b-4673-499c-bab7-adca775faf7a" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="052652bd-9f68-4306-bdbd-1b8febe8a1d6" grcontextid="have:0">have</span> angry physical outbursts like that. It may be we never see this
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="e468d6ca-63bf-4f30-b076-8ad46d2fde35" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="965a0c6f-6e13-4848-a6a5-bb1d1faf4879" grcontextid="on:0">on</span> a regular basis because of our meltdown management, or it could simply be
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="1992560f-dd31-40ac-a706-b33f8b1a4bd4" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="05da5862-4a4e-4b76-853f-0b5a7545a89f" grcontextid="our:0">our</span> life generally does not herald multitudes of social engagements. It
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="d85fa598-d937-4b0e-976b-ee008d5641ea" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="154b44e0-7590-44a6-b014-9b5980eab4d5" grcontextid="was:0">was</span> unusual</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4d60a2e5-d5ed-4d25-93e7-872ed5bab150" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="154b44e0-7590-44a6-b014-9b5980eab4d5" grcontextid="behaviour:1">behaviour</span>!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's not just 'Bob'; I have an overly stressed and</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="7c84c4f0-e2cd-4e8c-a89c-6a36b81ba69e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="6f22a4f1-9180-42eb-b026-b1945ba88f85" grcontextid="tearful final year student:0">tearful final year student</span>, desperately juggling student and work
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="c4d64dea-9cc5-4d19-b547-67700ce51750" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="42fcbe23-973a-4fd1-8e88-9f403352a795" grcontextid="demands:0">demands</span> and a Hubby who is pacing the floor and becoming incredibly anxious
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="64ba8d3d-9cbd-4dd3-a72f-1e523aeca2f1" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="6247c31a-bffd-46ee-ae16-50c2b99ca1a1" grcontextid="because:0">because</span> we have a plasterer in the house! A situation very much out
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="0d5abaee-4592-4fcc-8406-b8371e34de79" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="0e6b76f7-1ca7-4157-8c50-8979a4bb51a7" grcontextid="of his control:0">of his control</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">At this point I am folding my arms around my head in a tight self head
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="159448e5-cfac-4040-992b-3cdd4156dc55" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="cfc4fde8-475e-4eec-8e80-a32969e95154" grcontextid="lock:0">lock</span>. Oh there's no point in</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">that,</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">my blip in life will still be there. I just need to claw my way
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="5299760a-b8a9-42b7-a0d9-18f37fcaa622" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="ad3eac6a-a078-4af6-84cb-f22c79123f2a" grcontextid="out:0">out</span> of this hole I've put myself into.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The lady in my life Mrs W, who covers my back, who picks me up and
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="28d3f7fe-d5cd-46de-b84c-70e03d89ea2f" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="4ec4ee61-09c6-48d3-b09e-533436f14c40" grcontextid="supports:0">supports</span> me when I can't hold myself up, the one who knows when to take me home
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="1b26250b-b333-49e1-b895-48557052bff5" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="184e585c-136e-4b31-b815-1f2e5035eb1d" grcontextid="after:0">after</span> I've had one too many grape juices sent me this <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGD2pG-fRsodXQxd7z9FtpocYPSE4SyxS2Clxxr6NadDIYgtoFRJg3iK1br8hSvdVdpFWtcNEKP3iM_dpglctEb6fARuQz9UlaLxvP8tkXcSIOcbm90zHU6eWOyOKKLj9k_2Cg-KZST9Fk/s1600/1460234_10202601348134293_1422671181_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGD2pG-fRsodXQxd7z9FtpocYPSE4SyxS2Clxxr6NadDIYgtoFRJg3iK1br8hSvdVdpFWtcNEKP3iM_dpglctEb6fARuQz9UlaLxvP8tkXcSIOcbm90zHU6eWOyOKKLj9k_2Cg-KZST9Fk/s320/1460234_10202601348134293_1422671181_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">My Xmas
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="bb8bcebb-6db9-406a-9827-f6267a159a6c" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="c7c32b9a-f8ab-432e-9dab-19945e57a8a6" grcontextid="Pressie:0">Pressie</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">And the support from Twitterette's is fabulous! I am going to put
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="f4911fdf-2b4e-48f0-a5ad-535beffbf3f8" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="214bac65-8fc3-4f64-b85a-a9f14d945657" grcontextid="on:0">on</span> my virtual</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="a49dec9c-2e14-43cc-b817-7158d24323cc" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="214bac65-8fc3-4f64-b85a-a9f14d945657" grcontextid="armour:1">armour</span>; Might be a little bit
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="47377f69-35dd-4500-8636-a72f511dcf13" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="97d91d23-5211-4b3e-ba9b-4a404e45589d" grcontextid="clunky:0">clunky</span>; And if you hear a</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="c33af2b6-44d2-4a4a-996a-6876f9b79049" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="97d91d23-5211-4b3e-ba9b-4a404e45589d" grcontextid="clanky:1">clanky</span> clank It might just be me
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="8663f49b-1ca4-44cf-8340-3ba28e00a377" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="31015600-6b86-43ad-b53b-4fae5e00ed6d" grcontextid="following:0">following</span> you down the tinned veg aisle in ASDA. So for the next couple
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="81cfcc41-4da3-404c-83f8-5b3384d81703" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="4869cab5-a41a-4f89-aeeb-592832c1a0c2" grcontextid="of:0">of</span> <span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="19b87f0f-50c6-41b2-90c9-0e9015fa354e" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="4869cab5-a41a-4f89-aeeb-592832c1a0c2" grcontextid="days:1">days</span> I will cover up, lick my wounds and remind myself I cannot create
'<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="ec23dac7-da18-485e-b30e-32ec0ab73331" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="3a5f55fc-8cc1-4c41-8828-8681014a2e1b" grcontextid="perfections':0">perfections'</span> in my family's lives...... Who am I kidding I will keep doing that just next time I'm packing the tin suit!!!</span></div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-25876273534818829232013-11-10T12:25:00.001-08:002013-11-14T02:01:36.807-08:00And The Walls Come Tumbling Down Again.....<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
Life really does give out its curve balls
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="754add17-fd69-4425-9749-4da3cabe5291" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="588e8c32-7bb9-4837-a472-3d837b97c30c" grcontextid="too:0">too</span> generous; I do wish it would hold some back for a rainy day!!! I
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="32c90ca9-ab14-4dc7-8bd5-02b87ed90647" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="62277bb0-2f54-4df4-83e0-171e140cc9e6" grcontextid="realised:0">realised</span> some time ago that having a child on the spectrum I should be prepared
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="4e13a053-2c71-4a5a-afcc-86deb8283296" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="fd4c8cad-3183-44cd-86c1-be353f2dceb6" grcontextid="for:0">for</span> surprises at a drop of a hat. Saying that I still have moments of
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="58a6b74f-ba5c-4090-a712-61f130ea1768" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="f2351aea-fdd9-40c1-8793-dfe22d77d314" grcontextid="complacency:0">complacency</span> and recently I thought we had it all sewn up. Well certainly
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="f70012b0-d610-4eb3-965c-9c3f227dc418" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="b6a47617-5147-43ff-adb0-78b5013adc4a" grcontextid="for:0">for</span> the immediate future! Our 'Bob's curve ball came round that corner so fast
<span class="GINGER_SOFATWARE_correct" ginger_sofatware_markguid="242a06fb-41c1-4b6c-be44-0f4987957ff9" ginger_sofatware_uiphraseguid="e92fc368-b3b8-4a19-bae0-aa9c3b3621ee" grcontextid="it:0">it</span> took the stuffing out of all of us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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'Bob' has suffered with, one can only
describe as, 'déjà-vu' type headaches for nearly two years and fast pulse
probably longer than that. The suspicion lay very much at the door of his
ADHD medication, and the Professionals seemed to confirm this or certainly
wanted it to be so. We dragged 'Bob' to all sorts of appointments.
The poor lad has been prodded and poked, his head has been entwined with
wire and sticky pads, and we’ve even seen our own heart pumping thanks to
ultrasound! It was a technological exercise recording his heart rate and
passing the beeps and blips down the phone line, which of course I can now add
to my skill base! So to have this all confirmed at the beginning of the
year as medication induced migraines and sinus tachycardia was a relief! Even
though the names would conjure up something horrendous they were in all tense
and purpose manageable. Now then that's what we thought......<o:p></o:p></div>
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The assessments were long gone in the past
and 'Bob' was gearing up to finish school for the summer holidays in July, and
looking forward to a well earned rest. The end of term is always slightly
stressful because the normal routine is off kilter, and the rules become quite
lapsidasicle. This particular day didn't start too well, and my little
'big' man was complaining he felt unwell. I sigh quite heavily at this
point to myself, and the wonder that somehow I could have prevented what
happened does flash through my mind. 'Bob' does have a diva side, and I have to
deal with the here and now, busy morning and I really didn't want to have to
pamper that shenanigans. I drop him off at school; go back home and start
to plough through the mammoth pile of washing. I had such an uneasy
feeling that day, I felt odd, couldn't put my finger on it just something was
niggling. By lunchtime I've pushed that one to one side and I'm
contemplating a little bit of retail therapy! No such luck! Mobile phone goes
off. Not many people phone my mobile only school. So I knew it
would be them, and the possibility it was the call to come and collect a poorly
'Bob'. Guessed well... it was just that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
He looked dreadful, sullen and pale.
I'd never seen him this bad. I just about get out of him that he's
had 5 of these 'déjà-vu' migraines. BOOM! One after another! If I could
just get him home and put him to bed, darken the room and give him a couple of paracetamol
he would be fine. Great I remember we don't have any! 'Lil' is at
home that's the answer, I'll leave 'Bob' with her and quickly go and get some.
If only I had listened to the gnawing in the pit of my stomach, and the
pop-in thought he may just have a fit!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Twenty minutes later I get a call that no
mum really wants to hear whilst sat in the middle of the ASDA car park. Our 'Lil' is
hysterical, sobbing I can barely hear what she is saying but the words
"Bob" and "Fit" jumped through the hand piece and gripped
my throat.<br />
<br />
"Call Ambulance" I shout, "I'm on my way!"
<br />
<br />
Don't ask me what I was thinking; I drove three miles like a woman
possessed. I didn't particularly care if I got caught speeding, but I was
bothered I didn't kill anybody! There was a sense of surrealism, and
almost like the car was hovering above the surface of the road. I don't recall any other sound than the car's engine.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHFz2bB0OPIX98J4BMbobHhKzW7OZ-81L5a901hoAiATOjkPwJ0T1ExSOkhC_XBI6KVZiAvflqeX9e92JcLOnGMQAoNXXdq8f7Ikk9eDgY_yZGDOtsron-ZHzqpM12I-cBCxfCKeva2ylu/s1600/London_Ambulance_at_Abbey_Road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHFz2bB0OPIX98J4BMbobHhKzW7OZ-81L5a901hoAiATOjkPwJ0T1ExSOkhC_XBI6KVZiAvflqeX9e92JcLOnGMQAoNXXdq8f7Ikk9eDgY_yZGDOtsron-ZHzqpM12I-cBCxfCKeva2ylu/s320/London_Ambulance_at_Abbey_Road.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I'm not too sure whether I put the hand-brake on, but I abandoned the car
somewhere on the road and ran! I don't know how I stayed calm, just
don't! My daughter is in hysterics running between the lounge and
kitchen, and there is my boy on the living room floor! I can't thank
'Lil's boyfriend enough. He had the foresight, and calm disposition to
take charge of the situation. He kept my boy safe and put him in the
recovery position when he had finished fitting. Just in time for mum,
'Bob' throws up and starts thrashing about. The ambulance men were wonderful,
'Bob' was really uncooperative, thrashing around and he just kept on throwing
up. I really did feel like I was the one having an out of body experience
looking down at him on the gurney.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqitWm9PRlYRCsgnf-7hwdg0QLPEXrGpm1HLlssrtuveyes18OLzvavjw3GJjwqRwlZ74HY2qTuV6TZp0PmPhWHOXEWGYceR0v1H5rc0atNPaGGe79Cx-R3UcGW4cHrWgNYphaZQi-AnuX/s1600/36020_5683496_i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqitWm9PRlYRCsgnf-7hwdg0QLPEXrGpm1HLlssrtuveyes18OLzvavjw3GJjwqRwlZ74HY2qTuV6TZp0PmPhWHOXEWGYceR0v1H5rc0atNPaGGe79Cx-R3UcGW4cHrWgNYphaZQi-AnuX/s320/36020_5683496_i.jpg" width="254" /></a></div>
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We spent over 8 hours at the hospital and
with a promise to come back in the morning to be discharged properly by the
consultant, we headed home. The start of another long journey for us!
Poor 'Bob' he was absolutely shattered, and so was I!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Months have past and we haven't had any
more 'déjà-vu' migraines or a seizure but the follow up appointment confirmed that my
little man's experience was an epileptic seizure and further investigation needs
to be done. So more sticky pads entangled in his unruly mop! And of
course this has an impact on everything else. Nothing is straightforward!
'Bob's ADHD medication cannot be increased, wears off too quickly now and
is having an impact on his afternoon lessons. Sensory issues are increasing and
this increases his anxiety well that one is another story! The one blessing is
that we have managed to persuade 'Bob' to get back into his high bed; After the
seizure his anxiety went through the roof he thought another one would happen
when he was in bed so he took his mattress off and put it on the floor.
That's where he had slept since July.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If somebody had mentioned co-morbidity
before I'm not sure I would have paid much attention, but I sure am sitting upright
and paying attention now. Never mind the wet fish, get me a cold flannel,
feathered fan and a cabaña boy! We are going to have to make changes in school (another meeting!), changes at home (this one SHOULD be easy!) and in
fact changes in just about everything we do. I don't see another fight on
the immediate horizon, I see some blending needs to be done with what we've got
it and I feel it will be like putting on a new pair of glasses, seeing clearer
the job in hand! We will have a new set of professionals to become
acquainted with, and one service we have never ventured in Occupational
Therapy. 'Bob' and I will be putting together a sensory bag not box for the
car; with one of his blankets, some food and drink, and a little something which might help calm him down. We've just got to get over the anxiety of actually
having one in the car;<br />
<br />
"For goodness sake I'm 15 Mum!"<br />
<br />
Need I
say anymore...Teenagers!<o:p></o:p></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-71290744895117261432013-11-05T16:03:00.000-08:002013-11-05T16:12:59.066-08:00Pop Pop Fizz Fizz Bang Bang.............<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
This week has been full of fireworks! And not the pyrotechnic kind
either. My word a certain Celebrity caused a right old ruckus in Twitter
land and social media when her remarks on a certain well known radio station
shot through the fibre optics like a bullet! However it has raised the
issue about support and parents, and is a hot topic of deliberation and
debate. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As many of you now know I'm really
passionate about supporting SEN Parents but there was a moment in our life that
I was like a rabbit in headlights and nowhere to hide. I didn't know many
playground mums and hands up I was quite new to it; the Childminder had done
the school run before. I found myself shuffling in at the back and everybody
seemed to have their own little group. My Sister had moved into the area
and my Niece started the same nursery but that did not detract that I felt I
was the only one juggling slippy balls. Well at the time they felt like
dirty great big watermelons! I was paranoid that I had the 'naughty kid'
because our 'Bob' was always on that 'mat'. The amount of times the hand
beckoned from the nursery door and I would hear "Could I have a
word!" The art of eye rolling became my new party piece and I became
a master of defensive. If only there was someone I could have shared a
thought, or bounce off ideas but since we didn't have a diagnosis nobody seemed
to know where to send me. So I'd hit the internet!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Every time I thought about our situation I
would well up, behind closed doors of course. I knew I just couldn't do that in
public or I would just completely lose the plot. After us just plodding
along on our own, I asked the Head if perhaps we could set up a group for the
parents of children with SEN in the school. She shot right across my bow
and told me that they wouldn't want to draw attention to themselves and some of
them didn't even recognise that their child had a problem! Feeling
somewhat deflated recoiled back into my world. By some sheer coincidence
a lovely lady moved into the area whose middle child started at the primary
school and unbeknown to me had another child with Autism. Whether the
Head felt she needed to do a bit of back peddling I don't know but we were
introduced and as they say in the movies 'makings of a wonderful relationship!'
Mrs S and I co-run our voluntary group for local children with high
functioning autism/Asperger's and have done for a number of years.
Somehow we clicked and she is my Auty best buddy. We know that each
other will just get it no matter how daft it sounds or how intolerable it is;
we step in each other's shoes. Our relationship is really important to us
both now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We hear some horror stories about how
parents and their Autistic children are treated, and it is down to perception
and badly informed individuals a lot of the time I feel. Not being afraid to
talk openly about your child's condition without worry of prejudice or ridicule
is something we would all love to be able to do. That's so far short...<o:p></o:p></div>
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What I'd like to think is we can support
other parents and ourselves in so many different ways. Don't think that the one
nice comment you make to someone on twitter won't make someone's day, or fill
their heart with your understanding because the truth of the matter is it probably
will make their day. We can't see down a phone line nor behind someone’s
smile so never underestimate the power of united support. Sometimes a
smile is all it takes in the playground....<o:p></o:p></div>
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PS<o:p></o:p></div>
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I'd like to dedicate this post to a
wonderful lady in Twitter land who supports so many people with her fantastic
Warrior Mum Journeys <a href="http://michelledaly.blogspot.co.uk/">michelledaly.blogspot.co.uk</a> Recently she wrote my story and by doing this I
found support from so many different people. I realised that no matter how far
along your journey you are it's reassuring to know you are not on the path by
yourself anymore.<o:p></o:p></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-18146748178588078002013-10-29T15:35:00.000-07:002013-10-29T15:36:40.936-07:00Can We Go Now?.....<div style="text-align: justify;">
How many times have we heard this one! I don't know about anyone else but this one is an absolutely favourite phrase with our 'Bob'. The outside world harnesses so many irritations for him given a choice he just stays put, and the more he understands about his sensory issues the less compromising he is becoming. My worry is that he will become such a recluse that the fantasy world will take over the reality of living. 'Bob' has this ability to completely detach himself from the real world and pop into his parallel dream life like he's going to get a pint of milk. Our latest acquisition is a game called Victoria II, and I believe it has something to do with taking over the world one country at a time through virtual battles. His spare time and attention is taken up by this blasted game at the moment. So when I just happen to mention we have a family wedding to go to this weekend I am presented with a number of demands! Negotiations have taken place and no hostages will be spared!</div>
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This always happens whenever we have to go out. I have to add at least an hour or two into the plans because no amount of planning can make adjustments if he is just not in the mood! The slightest thing could set him off; the computer stopped working in the middle of the game; the toothbrush isn't where he left it; I've given him the wrong cereal; the sun is the wrong colour... just about anything! In preparations for the trip we bought an iTunes voucher for the iPad, installed a similiar game to Victoria II and made sure all technology was fully charged and deposited the charger in the car cigarette lighter in anticipation. Great! No excuses for not being able to take over the world! </div>
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Now for the outfit. Like so many other children on the spectrum, 'Bob' has particular sensitivities with some textiles and items that are too tight or restrictive. So the latest fashion trend for young men's suits being well fitted is going to be an obstacle but I'm usually up for a challenge. I want 'Bob' to look like all the other young men who will be there and what I don't want is for his clothes to become the neon sign that say's he's different. After a very successful shopping trip one on trend suit, shirt, tie and really trendy shoes have been bought with the promise that the trousers would be tried on at home because 'Bob' doesn't do fitting rooms either! And all on the eve of the wedding because world domination has to take priority and we only have one shot at it.</div>
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I'd organised the morning itinerary and the family all had a good idea where we had to be and at what time. For once 'Bob' is slightly giddy; so I am thankful I had left giving him his ADHD medication till the last minute. Now by this point there's no meltdown or screaming abdabs, everyone is relatively chilled and the journey is without incident. 'Bob' had been briefed on the type of wedding service, he had been to the church before so that was a bonus and to cut a long wedding short, it all went well. The fact we didn't engage in the social chit chat is neither here nor there, most of the family know 'Bob' anyway. Thank goodness! Mr AUTYnary finds these events excruciating and the social chit chat doesn't float his boat either. The pair of them look like a couple of bookends standing on the peripheral of the group, completely disengaged with the process. As usual we have arrived at the reception before anybody else; it's a time thing ensuring we have got there with plenty of it to spare just in case! </div>
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The wait for food was even bearable thanks to an apple. How many unsuspecting photographic victims can one person take pictures of from the dinner table? 64 to be exact. Take a look at the best one....</div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMKzI2r4zqhfuHp57n74ocEV1hSpagE93Li-9K3jqE19DuFDU54KcX-qS26aTN9Aum-WY7EiBIXjZ0KUamY2wsqcxhQtA0OZsgl-6eCV-y1V8x7IICyipJ2mcb8k5_t8V8D5Ke60vJlSv0/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMKzI2r4zqhfuHp57n74ocEV1hSpagE93Li-9K3jqE19DuFDU54KcX-qS26aTN9Aum-WY7EiBIXjZ0KUamY2wsqcxhQtA0OZsgl-6eCV-y1V8x7IICyipJ2mcb8k5_t8V8D5Ke60vJlSv0/s320/photo+(8).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-size: small;">Anybody for a selfie?</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX881UjXxGFDfixZ2hsj82xXgPs9KiHNvSocUo9hyphenhyphenGLSKaer-Lz_tSWFCKEfDoEIRTwXvFuw5qSdrc2-Npbg9wab8MtneenOJgN0rMKqxQt7f4j1G3MoIU0LX9pLRSz63clSV92Dqm7A2o/s1600/photo+(9).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX881UjXxGFDfixZ2hsj82xXgPs9KiHNvSocUo9hyphenhyphenGLSKaer-Lz_tSWFCKEfDoEIRTwXvFuw5qSdrc2-Npbg9wab8MtneenOJgN0rMKqxQt7f4j1G3MoIU0LX9pLRSz63clSV92Dqm7A2o/s320/photo+(9).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-size: small;">DIINNNEEERRRR YUM YUM!</span></td></tr>
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On the home straight now. We've got to the dessert without any intervention. Yayyyy! This is looking promising and could be a good night. There I am looking very pleased with myself and WHAM! </div>
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'Bob' - "Can we go now?"</div>
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Me - "Nope we have to stay a little bit longer."</div>
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'Bob' "Why?" "I've eaten my dinner and I'm still hungry?" "I need to get back or I won't have time to finish my battle."</div>
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Me - "It's rude to just go after food, you have to stay for the speeches and cutting the cake that's the rule."</div>
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and off he wanders.....</div>
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'Bob' - "Can we go now?"</div>
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Me - "Nope we have to stay a little bit longer."</div>
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'Bob' - "Well I'm not having that rule when I get married, I'll go when I'm ready!"</div>
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What do you say to that one? 'Bob' manages another couple of hours of "Can we go now?", and Mr AUTYnary manages to drink my share of the free wine (I'm designated driver for the night). Not too sure who got to the car first though 'Bob' under his own steam or Mr AUTYnary pushed along by the high wind. In the world of "Can we go now?" I can safely say that was a good night! It's not always that easy and I'm mindful that all our trips aren't as successful. The thing is I will keep presenting 'Bob' with these jaunts no matter what just to make sure he doesn't disappear into his version of the universe. I fear I would lose him forever.</div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-54015830533530043992013-10-19T10:03:00.001-07:002013-10-19T10:03:58.233-07:00Anxiety Overload!<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I was so cross, well in fact I'm still cross, at the beginning of
the week! The idiot that broke into one of the cars on Monday night does
not realise the anguish and anxiety overload we are experiencing right now, and
for what... £3!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Our 'Bob' along with so many others with
autism suffers badly from extreme security anxiety. This usually
manifests it's self in THE most extreme response. Within seconds of him
hearing about the break-in I had to listen to the chunnering, I had to give a
detailed report of the crime scene and had to put up with "I told you
so" and "You should have followed my car parking plan for the drive,
Mum!" Yes, 'Bob' did produce a car park plan for our drive. It
makes it sound like we have an ENOURMOUS drive, we don't it's just a good shape
for packing in the cars. Of course 'Bob' then spent the next hour setting
about completing a security plan, and reminders for the family which he
promptly put up on the wall by the front door. If nothing else 'Bob's
thorough. It's not just that though, it's the mental impact this has on
him. I thought we had dealt with checking doors all the time and the
perimeter of the building before bedtime. This episode has reared its
ugly head again this week. I have been reassuring him all week and it's
completely exhausting. The slightest thing can set him off and I have to
pick up the pieces!<o:p></o:p><br />
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We already struggle getting 'Bob' out of
the house and the uncertainty that comes with other peoples actions will push
him back there. I try and explain it to people but it is an emotion that
is incredible difficult to describe from an autistic child’s perspective.
'Bob' can't break it down for someone to understand and I can only surmise.
I have to go on his actions and listen to what and how he is saying
things. You can tell he battles internally with the core sense of
insecurity and trying to deal with it himself creates chronic anxiety too! No
win situation whichever way we look at it!<o:p></o:p></div>
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All we can do is breakdown the information
that is causing the grief and strip it back to its bare bones so to speak.
I try and do this in a calm environment usually surrounded by his
precious things in hope the familiarity will give some comfort. When
'Bob' goes to the extreme I have to remind him of the reality of life.
For instance with the car, it was parked on the opposite side of the
street, close to a hedge, no street lighting and was quite close to the path.
It was an opportunist, so likely to be some oik roaming the streets just
looking for mischief, the fact that the car was still there and the contents of
the car placed on the front seat would suggest this too. It is key
breaking down the information in digestible pieces. It will be a number
of weeks before we can stop revisiting this. Let’s hope we don't come
across something else that takes up the anxiety mantel, and I have to start all
over again!<o:p></o:p></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-20637173343097220692013-10-11T05:54:00.000-07:002013-10-11T06:04:20.177-07:00Drama, Drama, Drama!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
Everyone loves a critic! Especially my son
he usually is the critic. In 'Bob's quest to find out what he is going to do
with his life he has decided to have a Plan B! OMGosh! Head in hands, shake
head from side to side. Well he's gone from one extreme to another I can tell
you. Plan A was to be a super Engineer, fantastic pilot, leader of his
own country and Master Lego Builder! Now Plan B is to say the least confusing
for me because our 'Bob' doesn't generally gravitate towards the limelight by
choice, it might unintentionally happen when he is trying to ram me with the
shopping trolley in front of a crowd of happy shoppers! So when he
announced in the car that he wanted to be an Actor, yes ACTOR! The choice words
were 'gobbed-smacked' and 'Well I never... .’ <o:p></o:p></div>
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We had tried a drama group without much
success when 'Bob' was about eight years old. It didn't last long 'Bob'
was scaring the other children by running round in the opposite way and
screaming in their faces. The sweet natured Drama Teacher was really polite but
after telling me the second time how the other children didn't like coming
because he was scaring the living daylights out of them it sort of put me off.
I didn't want to get to the stage where we were the ones asked to leave.
It was still incredibly raw having a child with autism, and my thick skin
wasn't quite thick enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
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'Bob' informs me he's doing this because I
said that he needed to do other stuff! The fact I said that months ago
has nothing to do with it but we will go with it. I know it takes some time to
process information but bloomin 'eck 'Bob' that's ridiculous! I still
worry about sending him off into the unknown, his behaviour can be so
unpredictable (that's the ADHD) and he can appear to be such a Muppet sometimes
(I can say that! I'm his Mum!). Generally it can be OK until he opens his
mouth and says something completely irrelevant or odd, then everyone identifies
that this one is going to be tricky! So very carefully I pick out a drama
group. Well actually I'm slightly biased because it's the local
performing arts academy and I go there once a week for my 'get away from it'
hour of self indulgent adult musical theatre singing class! I know the
teachers, the layout, some of the children who attend and it's a really great family
spirit. Hey they've put up with me for nearly a year! The only prerequisite
was that he didn't want to do any singing like me. In his own words "I
don't want to do that cat’s chorus!" Thanks Son, love you too!</div>
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Well we've managed two weeks and all is OK
with the drama world. Fingers crossed! I really never ever thought we would
embrace the world of 'Luvees' and 'Darhlings'. I loved performing when I
was a kid and I so wanted one of my children to follow in my footsteps and
beyond. Our 'Lil' didn't show any signs of that side of the camera preferring
to be on the other side and creative in the fashion world. It didn't even
occur to me to give 'Bob' the mantel and resided that it would have to be
shelved until the teeny tiny patter of grandchildren's feet! There is
hope yet... I can see it now "To be or not to be, that is the
question?" "Well actually that IS the question...to be or not to be
what?" Could you imagine how long Macbeth would take!<o:p></o:p></div>
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AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-47350455391457502472013-10-07T14:49:00.000-07:002013-10-07T14:49:38.408-07:00What Have I Done With My Life?<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I do wonder some days what goes through our 'Bob's head. I
mean he does come up with some weird and wonderful ideas but this one came from
left field. As most of you gather our conversations usually take place in
the car to and from school so don't be surprised this one happened after I had
picked him up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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'Bob' "I've been thinking..."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mum "That's dangerous!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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'Bob' "What have I done with my
life?"<o:p></o:p></div>
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I'm trying not to avert my eyes off the
road but one eyebrow lifting stare to the left is required at this point...<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mum "what are you talking about, you
are only 14"<o:p></o:p></div>
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'Bob' "well, I mean I haven't done
anything I can remember"<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mum "you've done loads of stuff,
you've sat in the cockpit of the concord, been on a train simulator at the
engine works, been on lots of holidays, building a plane in the garden” Yes
that last one is real!<o:p></o:p></div>
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'Bob' "yeah but what have I done with
my life, I need to start thinking about my life...”<o:p></o:p></div>
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How do you respond to that...? I mean I
ask myself that question all the time self evaluation doesn't come easy.
I'm hopeless at it. I'm curious to see how he does manage it.
For 'Bob' the inability to make simple decision is problematic in everyday
life so to make such huge whoppers for a life plan is going to be interesting.
His mindset and latest obsessions tend to dictate what he and we do next
because unwittingly our lives follow his. Our routine for everyday tasks is
firmly set, clothes in set order, when and how we eat breakfast, the morning
constitutional, even down to the contents of our lunch box doesn't change day
in day out. How is this young man going to build these into his life plan?
Quite simply that is his life! Just because he does things quite rigidly and
methodically doesn’t mean it's wrong. Frankly, if life was that orderly most
people would find that they have more time on their hands. Without him
realising he gets time management down to a fine art. It's me that pushes
those boundaries. I'm the one flying around by the seat of my pants!
Don't get me wrong I'm not scatty all the time. I love lists! And boxes
and a home for everything. Maybe he's got something we could bottle! I still have to make the decision about which
clothes get laid out, the contents of the cereal bowl, reminders about cleaning
teeth and washing his face though. If
you asked him coco pops or weetabix he would point in my direction “she’ll tell
you” would be his response.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ah and then we have the inability to accept
change even if it’s in an orderly fashion.
It causes unhappiness and anxiety which can reach astronomical
proportions verging on exaggeration. Then we get the shut down so nothing gets
done. Too many obstacles get placed in the way, and you might as well say
goodbye and 'san fairy ann' to sound reasoning and logic! And then we stall!<o:p></o:p></div>
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OK he's 14 some may say too young to be
thinking so far ahead, should be enjoying childhood! We don’t have that luxury
of time at all because everything takes an age to plan and because of those
dreaded obstacles it could take us until he's 40 to get where he wants to be.
'Bob' has so much going on in that little head of his, so many ideas, dreams,
lives he wants to live I don't want him to lose that spirit in the process.
We are here to guide him and help him to achieve them; some are so
outlandish; at the moment he is planning on buying his own island and creating
his own country! Now you and I know that it's not that straight forward,
but in his head it is. Mr AUTYnary and I
will go along, helping him find out information, even create his own family
crest. Knowing all too well that at some
point we may have to bring some of those ideas down to earth with a bump! I want him to embrace that entrepreneurial
gumption, I want him to have those opportunities that could see him reach those
dizzy heights of success, and I want him to have those chances! Even if it means I have to don on a
life jacket and climb into a dodgy looking motor board dingy, travel the treacherous
Irish Sea and climb into a tent on some windy remote uninhabited island off the
Irish coast just to find out that setting up your own country might not be a
good idea after all!<span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-26838020922238929032013-09-30T05:44:00.000-07:002013-09-30T05:46:58.460-07:00This Wall Was Not Built In A Day<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Another proud Mummy moment! Our 'Bob' has been plagued since the
beginning of term by one child in Construction, I mentioned him before
in Hey Ho No 2 blog the kid with the Lego! The attraction to
irritate 'Bob' has increased over the last couple of weeks and 'Bob' is desperately
controlling himself in his presence. We have been working really hard on self
restraint, reinforcing strategies to empower 'Bob' to make good choices when
confronted with people who are, quite frankly, pushing for a fight! This
usually happens in the car on the way home and has to be completed by the time
we get back because I have exhausted his attention span. Though he's
probably sick and tired of listening to "that woman...!" this seems
to be his current reference about me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm not saying our 'Bob' is an angel; he can be equally annoying and yes
he does like to be right ALL the time. He struggles when he believes
there has been an injustice, and that can happen quite a lot some days. God
help you if you cut us up first thing in the morning, or dare you to take a
step off the pavement before the green man has appeared! I'm not lying
It's a task to bring him down to level where we can work on reasoning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The fact is this is a brand new subject, and our 'Bob' has been really
trying to find his feet. He loves it though; finally some real
satisfaction with immediate positive results. You would not believe it
they have to build little mini bungalows; I mean this is absolutely fab!
It's got bricks, pipes, a sink and even a little roof!! The whole
shebang! For a 6 year old 'Bob' this would have been heaven; for a 14
year old 'Bob' this means possibilities...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">He jumped in the car the other day, beaming from ear to ear, very
chuffed with himself clutching a piece of wood. It got shoved right in
front of my nose..."take a look at that joint, Sir says this is brilliant
and I got a distinction..." Wow! On closer inspection it was a small
corner joint made out of wood carefully joined together and sanded as smooth as
a baby's bot! So to honour his effort he gave me permission to photograph his
joint for you all to enjoy...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">And to top it off, ‘Bob’ has been mithering his Teacher to let him build
his own bungalow since the beginning of the school year, well, he got it! Only
half a bungalow but he’s happy enough, it's up against the studio wall and it
does bring new challenges but hey he's on his own. Stay posted 'Bob' says
I can update you guys on its progress. Hold on to your hat's this
journey is going to be fun! <span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2718988790993412476.post-26642069410301088382013-09-22T12:56:00.000-07:002013-09-22T13:04:30.673-07:00Just One Of Those Weeks......<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can't believe it's been a week since my last blog post... I have been
meeting myself coming backwards this week! This week has been one of
vision, empowerment and achievement, disappointment and anxiety, intolerance
and obstacles, pain and joy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">In my quest for SEN knowledge and a keen interest in meeting other
parents locally, I joined the Parents Forum three years ago. Initially, I
went along just to find out what was going on in our local authority as most of
you are familiar with local authorities REALLY don't like SEN parents getting
to know too much! Crikey, if we knew too much we might see more clearly their
short comings! Through the meetings I became aware that I did have more
to contribute than I first thought. I'd spent years trapped in this
emotional bubble, and trying to find that even keel, trying desperately to
balance that see-saw of our life, that I lost sight of who I was and who I had
worked hard to be. What I found confusing too was the 'who I had worked
hard to be' because realising that who you want to be is an ever evolving
situation can be unnerving, a little bit scary and I was treading unchartered territory.
Could I possibly have anything to give or share? Do you know, and I can
say this now, YES I DO!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm really passionate about SEN parents and their capacity as an entity,
a united voice to influence change. I've participated as a Parent Rep on
local authority task and finish groups, third party steering groups and parent
led visioning events. I started off being very conservative and reserved,
taking a much secure position of just nodding and listening. I was
struggling inside to have that inner confidence that 1. Had I anything relevant
to say, and 2. That I would be heard. Stepping over that line came as a
bit of a shock to me, I'd had a really crappy week with our 'Bob's anxiety and
a truly fed up with the attitude of some people, So when asked whether parents
might engage with a new process I just let rip! Not in a nowty way, or
angry outburst kind of way... I merely pointed out quite honestly and calmly the
impact of continual assessments, the tiresomeness of repeating your child's
history to half a dozen practitioners and the endless filling out of forms,
etc, etc. I tried to convey what truly it is like on the front line of
SEN parents, warts and all! Letting them know we don't what pity, we want
answers, we want compromises, we want choices and most of all we want respect
and a voice in the decision making of our children's futures! Shocked!
You bet I was, more so because they all listened! I wouldn't say now I have a Rottweiler
reputation per se but I don't hold back and will ask squirmy questions. Parents want to be able to make informed
choices, not too much to ask!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">So this week was our second Visioning event at the forum, I just love these sessions.
They get you fired up, enthused and above all give you confidence that
things are achievable. As I plan to take another step over another line
of uncharted waters, I look back at that day just to remind myself that I didn't
get hit by a bolt of lightning, and the ground didn't open up to swallow me! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was reminded also today by another mummy blogger </span><a href="http://www.savette.com/" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">www.savette.com</a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">“...we just take everything for granted don’t
we and forget us as a person and just see ourselves as mums”... She is right;
we all carry on day to day, tackle those daily battles and endless chores, and
most cases with no thanks! We strive to do the best for our children, we battle
the small ‘uns and big ‘uns, we win some we lose some but we still get up the
next morning to start it all over again.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that as a person we do some
remarkable things every day, and it may be you managed to get your little star
to eat a small amount of carrot, or placing a Thomas the tank engine sticker on
the toothbrush means your son might put it into his mouth today and tomorrow he
might just brush his front teeth.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Every
day we are remarkable people, living a remarkable life with some remarkable
children!</span></div>
AUTYnary Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02131452955157732366noreply@blogger.com6