Detectives Autynary and 'Bob' - When Two Worlds Work Together!

 How far would you go to step into your child's world? Well, since the disappearance of Flight MH 370 I have been doing just that.  I've jumped in and now I'm up to my shoulders in it!  I have always found that I have been the parent on the periphery, I don't really bring much to the table.  I mean I'm not really into science and engineering, and I've never had a penchant for trains, planes and automobiles!

As soon as 'Bob's radar hearing heard the words plane and crash resonating from the television, the whole house has been on news watch!  Mr Autynary didn't need much encouragement either.  It starts with a full run down of the overnight news from the moment we get up.  Flicking between the BBC and Sky news channels, looking for vital clues and even the cross reference of data has managed to sneak into the morning routine without much interference.  Strange that, when the change is desired it manages to pass quality control reasonably well.

I am given strict instructions to hold a watch on the latest updates, and if something genuinely important is reported to make sure Mr A gets an email.  My own 'Breaking News' update is called for from the moment 'Bob' gets in the car after school, and we have to digest and evaluate any data change.  'Bob' is really eager to get home straight away, so unless I want a hoo-ha about stopping off for vital supplies, it's straight home we go.

You're probably thinking, Why? Stop! Or you're thinking I've gone completely barmy!  I've missed The Voice, poor Phil and Holly haven't seen the light of day this week in Autynary Towers, and I didn't even get to see The Boys from Saturday Night Takeaway on a plus one.

I've found myself debating theories, and analysing speculation with Mr A and 'Bob' and have spent hours searching on the internet, like so many others, for a miracle landing on some uninhabited island.  For Mr A and 'Bob' it's all about the technical and for me it's about the human aspect.  The human aspect requires an understanding of emotion, empathic attitude, and psychological observations, all of which Mr A and 'Bob' do not find easy if at all!  The importance of logic and mechanical failure is a preferred explanation for my boys, and the digestion of disparaging information about the crew intriguing.  I need them and they need me to make sense of it all. 

I know I've been swept away with this obsessive approach, and it won't be the last time either I'm sure.  The principals are the same, though, working together to make sense of the world!  I'm encouraged that this method will open up a window of understanding.  I know emotions don't come with a formula that can be easily applied, but this is a good visual living experience which will become a memory.

Our 'Bob's last SLT review recently recognised he was still having difficulty seeing things from another persons point of view, and the differences they bring.  Which, as any Auty parent will know, that is one hell of a difficulty in this world.  When you put this in context with all those other difficulties you can see how even the smallest of positive influences can make a difference; he's still struggling adapting to change, difficulty in asking for help and other social interaction complexities!

I don't set out a plan to learn from every experience in our life, far from it.  I'm not that organised to be honest! It's usually writing this blog, I find by epiphany!  I just try to bring all of my neurotypical traits to the table in hope that we can find a balance that works for us as a family. I smile, 2 against 1, I have to go armed with something!

Who's survived the half term?

I wonder if I am the only Mum who is more perturbed by the disruption to routine that the half term brings than the child, especially when the child needs so much structure and support. It's taken this last week to catch up with all my jobs, and the 'to do' list was getting to such epic proportions that even procrastination got up and left the room!

Would you believe we've never really had any firm strategies when it came to school holidays,  they are always an anomaly.  It is a time that gets lost in refusals, meltdowns, negotiation and ultimately bribery, and over the years this has become more difficult as 'Bob' has got older.  Have we, Mr Autynary and I have been lazy, could have been!  In our defense, we spend most of the year desperately trying to achieve engagement, it's almost like the whole house takes a huge sigh and collapses out of sheer exhaustion when we get round to half term and holidays.  I have spent many sleepless nights feeling guilty that we haven't given more opportunity to 'Bob' in the extra curriculum stakes and any cracks in my parenting skills would identify that my ability to become a 'Super Mum' had 'Super'd' off!

Like many Mum's, I would read lots of women's magazines with an ideological notion of 'yummy mummies', pristine homes with a distinctive chateau farmhouse look about it, vibrant colours with a scandi twist to the playroom and rather delightful cupcakes whipped up in a trice!  In reality, I would gaze around at my Lego covered living room floor, the mound of washing on the kitchen floor, the breakfast pots stacked above the dishwasher and not in it! A house that has half finished renovations, and furniture that has seen better days.

In my order to regain some control, anything that could be put into one of those pretty printed boxes was! Mr Autynary seems to think I  have OCD because the box mountain is getting bigger and if I carry on he thinks that it will be on par with Hadrian's Wall.  'Bob', by the way, is completely oblivious to all this!

When 'Lil' was little I was working, but we always made the most of the holiday/weekend time.  We would do brunch, go girly shopping, Oooo and Ahhh over shiny, sparkly trinkets and have lots of film time.  You would have thought that with the arrival of 'Bob' we could balance out our social activity which would include Mr Autynary too (bless him he did feel left out).  In hindsight, a screaming toddler arching his back and pushing himself out of the stroller was a really good clue that things were not going to be that easy but bless us we did persevere.

That sums us up 'perseverance'! Well, I'm totally exhausted and a little bit miffed!  I try not to let these kinds of emotions railroad me, but sometimes they just come steaming on in there. With every half term holiday I know exactly what is going to happen; Our 'Bob' will set up the PC for the long haul, freshly laundered lounge wear becomes the norm and with waitress service what more could a young man ask for.  I'm tired now of the on-going battle to just get him out the front door, I'm finding the anxiety is shifting on to me whilst he is as happy as a sandboy.  And at the end of the day I'm not sure who I am more cross with, autism or me!  Have I survived the half term?  I think on this occasion anxiety wins hands down!